Bài Ielts Task 2 - Cambridge 8 - Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Question

Education’s system have remained a controversial issue in these days. Some people suggested that each school should divide to two types which include one for boy and the other for girls. While mixed schools also are voted by a large number of people. This essay will discuss both sides of this issue and give my opinion.

 As can be seen, single – sex schools bring significant benefit which make a huge truth on the public. First of all, education’s program can adjusted in order to suitable for gender in each kind of school. For example, physical’ subjects have many level from lowest to highest, while girls are not as strong as boys to do the same level of physical exercise. Hence, if school can separate, subjects will be teach for appropriate sexes and therefore, this problem can solve effectively. In addition, there are an increasing number of love stories from school in recent years. The separated schools could decrease slightly this issues. Because in this cases, pupils at school do not have time to spend together, therefore also lack of the majority of opportunities to make an close connection.

Despite single – sex schools might be useful, mixed school bring a large number of advantages for students. First, when boys and girls learn at same school, they can support each other in each subjects. For example, girls usually more ingenious than the counterparts; whereas, boys usually more clever. With gendered feature, they could combine and develop themselves by an effective way. Secondly, male and female obviously will work together in the future. Providing that students choose to study at mixed school, through their education, they experience their relationship with the opposite sex.

Overall, I am firmly convinced that people should witness their education in mixed schools. The former for exposure with opposite gender, the later for develop themselves completely in mixed environment.

Answer 1

i see that your essay is rather good. ' Despite single – sex schools might be useful' is incorrect. let's review although, in spite of, despite. hihi

As can be seen, single – sex schools bring significant benefit which make a huge truth on the public. First of all, education’s program can adjusted in order to suitable for gender in each kind of school. For example, physical’ subjects have many level from lowest to highest, while girls are not as strong as boys to do the same level of physical exercise. Hence, if school can separate, subjects will be teach for appropriate sexes and therefore, this problem can solve effectively. In addition, there are an increasing number of love stories from school in recent years. The separated schools could decrease slightly this issues. Because in this cases, pupils at school do not have time to spend together, therefore also lack of the majority of opportunities to make an close connection.

Despite single – sex schools might be useful, mixed school bring a large number of advantages for students. First, when boys and girls learn at same school, they can support each other in each subjects. For example, girls usually more ingenious than the counterparts; whereas, boys usually more clever. With gendered feature, they could combine and develop themselves by an effective way. Secondly, male and female obviously will work together in the future. Providing that students choose to study at mixed school, through their education, they experience their relationship with the opposite sex.

i think that for example in the body 2, you can use for instance to avoid repeat in body 1.

Comments

:) ukm, bạn ơi sao chỗ despite nó k đúng ak :p
với tại mình viết cả câu, mà dùng in spite of thì cần đi sau là cụm danh từ mà :)

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"despite the fact that" or "though/although" bạn nhé

Answer 2

Some people suggested that each school should divide to two types which include one for boy and the other for girls. => schools should be divided into two types

While mixed schools also are voted by a large number of people => Meanwhile

single – sex schools bring (-> bring about) significant benefit (-> benefits) which make a huge truth on the public. (what do you mean when using "make a huge truth", which is seemingly not an idiom?)

First of all, education’s program can adjusted (-> be adjusted) in order to suitable (be suitable) for gender in each kind of school (for each gender in schools)

For example, physical’ subjects have many level from lowest to highest, while girls are not as strong as boys to do the same level of physical exercise => For example, physical subjects are of different difficulty levels which prevent girls, who seem to be weaker, taking the same one as boys.

if school can separate => if boys and girls can be separated

will be teach => will be taught

this problem can solve effectively => thus, this problem can be solved effectively

there are an increasing number => there is an growing/increasing trend of 

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Actually, your grammar is really bad, which results in a great deal of basic errors. It makes me out of patience, so I can stand correcting the whole essay. Sorry :(

Comments

I have some comments:
1/. You make many grammatical errors (Despite single – sex schools might be useful,...: "Despite" is used for phrases,not clause; can +V0: "can adjust"; While mixed schools also are voted by a large number of people: "While" can not form a sentence,...)
2/. I can not catch some of your ideas ( ...make a huge truth...???), (they can support each other in each subjects: Only boys can still support each other)