Some people believe that it is good for children to do chores. Others, however, say that children should not be asked to do household tasks. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Question

It is thought that housework brings many benefits to children. Other people, however, opine that household tasks are not the youngsters’ business. Both approaches are beneficial but personally, I agree with the first group.

On the one hand, housework has some following downsides to the teenagers. Firstly, it is clear that children are not competent enough to do the chores. For example, if a five-year-old child washes knives, he could accidentally cut himself. Secondly, taking up time is also a drawback of housework. Children, these days, are more and more busy with plenty of extra classes and homework. They don’t have enough time to relax, to entertain themselves. If parents asked them to do chores, I am not optimistic that the youngsters could have time for doing the chores. For these reasons, children should not be required to do the chores. 

On the other hand, it is virtual that children can be brought many benefits from household tasks. Children can become self-reliant by doing housework. To be more specific, if parents let their child carry out housework, the child will able to handle his life when he lives without his parents as he accustomed to it. Moreover, not only helps children be self-governing but also teaches children responsibility. For instance, a child doing housework frequently will know how his actions and will lend his mother a hand with dishes, will know how to act when going to his friends’ houses. To sum up, housework is one of the crucial things for children to grow up.

In my view, while some disadvantages of carrying out chores. It seems to me that it is better if children do household chores.

 

Answer 1

Chào bạn.

Theo mình thấy thì introduction và paragraph 1 của bạn khá ổn. Tuy nhiên,  đoạn cuối hơi lặp lại từ "do the chores". Bạn có thể dùng từ housework, household chores, domestic work

Đoạn paragraph 2, the child will able => the child will be able,

Mình không hiểu câu "will know how his actions" là như thê nào?  Có lẽ là "biết được hành động của mình" => "aware/conscious of his actions"

.....will lend his mother a hand with dishes, AND/ AS WELL AS HE ALSO will know..... (mình nghĩ nên dùng WOULD được hơn)

Tuy nhiên,  mình cũng không hiểu cậu bé này hành động ra sao khi qua nhà bạn chơi.  Mình nghĩ câu này chưa được sáng nghĩa cho lắm,  và tính liên kết vẫn chưa rõ.

To sum up..... => câu này là conclusion, bạn nên để ở cuối bài,  còn đây cuối đoạn thì bạn nên dung từ như undoubtlessly, obviously....

In my view....=>  bạn nên lưu ý là "in my view" là mở bài,  không phải conclusion đâu nhé.

While THERE ARE some disadvantages of carrying out chores, it seems to me.....

Thanks bạn nhiều