Bài IETLS Task 2 sáng 27/9 - social media and communication

Question

Nowadays, there are more and more people use social media instead of communicating directly. In my opinion, this development has both pros and cons.

The emergence of social media in communicating has several reasons. Firstly, more and more people today could be connected through the Internet. Secondly, it facilitates communication, saves time and money. Everything people do is staying at home and turning on the applications. For example, Messenger allows them to keep up with their friends who move far away.

On the other hand, I think that the popularity of social networks has some disadvantages. When a person sits on the computer or mobile phone screen all day, his eyes will be hurt and it affects his health terribly. As a result, he will suffer from physical problems such as a sedentary lifestyle and obesity. Another downside of this trend is that people can be attacked by security issues and cybercrimes, especially teenagers. They are missing out on genuine friendships. Some experts believe that online friendships could result in loneliness.

In conclusion, despite some positive effects, I hold the opinion that socialness can also trigger adverse effects on replacing the direct connection.

Answer 1

Nowadays, there are more and more people use social media instead of communicating directly. In my opinion, this development has both pros and cons.

The emergence of social media in communicating has several reasons. Firstly, more and more people today could be connected through the Internet (Nên giải thích thêm về luận điểm này để quan điểm của mình logic và sâu sắc hơn). Secondly, it facilitates communication, saves time and money. Everything people do is staying at home and turning on the applications. For example, Messenger allows them to keep up with their friends who move far away. (Trong đoạn này hầu hết đều là câu đơn, cho nên mình nghĩ nên ghép câu hoặc sử dụng ý mới để mở rộng. Một bài viết IELTS tốt là sử dụng đa dạng các thể loại câu, từ câu đơn, câu ghép, câu phức)

On the other hand, I think that the popularity of social networks has some disadvantages. When a person sits on the computer or mobile phone screen all day, his eyes will be hurt and it affects his health terribly (mình nghĩ tổng quan là về health, sau đó phần eyes có thể nói chung với những bệnh khác). As a result, he will suffer from physical problems such as a sedentary lifestyle and obesity. Another downside of this trend is that people can be attacked by security issues and cybercrimes, especially teenagers. They are missing out on genuine friendships. Some experts believe that online friendships could result in loneliness.

In conclusion, despite some positive effects, I hold the opinion that socialness can also trigger adverse effects on replacing the direct connection.