The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the problems? What can be taken to solve those problems?

Question

Over the last few years, many countries around the globe have experienced an increase in the number of migrated people from rural to urban areas to find better work and living opportunities. The following essay takes a look at the drawbacks of this movement before prosper measures to ameliorate the situation 

It’s not surprising that many people tend to move to the city because the salary is higher and job opportunities are also higher. However this can cause a massive problem for two places. Because the number of people is increasing every year the housing price is rising so it is difficult for more students who want to rent so the number of homeless people go up. Another issue is the volume of traffic, the number of motorbikes, cars on the road are extremely high make the traffic worse

 

Rural areas also have to suffer from losing personnel. Many young generations don’t like to work in the farm or in a factory with low payment. This can make the production of food or clothes or things that we often use for our daily basis 

 

Answer 1

Over the last few years, many countries around the globe have experienced an increase in the number of migrated people migrants from rural to urban areas to find better work and living opportunities. The following essay takes a look at the drawbacks of this movement before prosper proposing measures to ameliorate the situation  this phenomenal.

It’s It is (không viết tắt) not surprising that many people tend to move to the city because the salary is higher and they can get more job opportunities are also higher. However, this can cause a massive problem for both the countrysides and the major cities two places. Because the number of people is increasing every year, the housing price is rising, so it is difficult for more students who want to rent so the number of homeless people go up. Another Other issues issare the volume of traffic, the number of motorbikes, cars on the road,which make the traffic worse

*chỉ sử dụng một trong hai "because" hoặc "so" trong cùng một câu.

 

Rural areas also have to suffer from losing personnel. Many young generations don’t don not like to work in the farm or in a factory with low payment. This which can make affect the production of food or clothes or things that we often use for on our daily basis 

 

Góp ý:

- Bạn nên gộp 2 phần body lại, do cùng chủ đề problem.

- Về phần nêu ra problems thì bạn cần lựa chọn 2,3 vấn đề chính yếu và discuss chi tiết hơn.

- Bạn chưa tra lời câu hỏi thứ 2 "What can be taken to solve those problems?"

(Bài của bạn mình chỉ sửa tương đối về cấu trúc ngữ pháp thôi nha)