Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What problems will this cause? What measures can be taken to solve the problem?

Question

It today’s world, children are at an increased risk of health problems. In many countries, childhood overweighting is an alarming problem than ever. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences, I believe that some solutions be able to solve this condition.

There are two main factors, that are contributed to childhood obesity. The first is a health issue because of eating a lot of unprepared food. Convenient food has been proved unhealthy because of it is high-fat content that affects the cardiovascular activity system and digestive system. Additionally, it contains a lot of sugar and salt, as well as many ingredients, may be harmful and toxic. Therefore, children easy to get obesity in addition to heart diseases and diabetes. Secondly, love eating a lot of fast food can bring about bad habits. They are fatness, unhealthy and unfit to outdoor activities or to do any physical exercise. Children are interested in playing video or watching TV instead of sport, hence becoming lazy.

On the other hand, I think there are several ways can be done by parents and governments. On the side of parents, they should spend time to share the benefits of healthy food with their children and step by step make a healthy eating habit, which provide many nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. Besides, parents should take part in outdoor activities or sport with children to motivate them. The government can contribute by tightening the law on nutritional quality with items prepared to keep in mind to children.

In conclusion, though many countries are falling into this serious situation, we can fight to prevent it by various measures as described above.

Answer 1

hi!

đây là một số góp ý cho bài viết của cậu.

đầu tiên về phần mở bài câu thesis statement của cậu không được hay lắm. cậu có thể viết là :in the following paragraphs , i will not only....but also....

Tiếp theo là phần thân bài :The first is a health issue because of eating a lot of unprepared food (đây không hẳn là nguyên nhân).

Therefore, children easy to get obesity in addition to heart diseases and diabetes.(sai ngữ pháp : are easy to ngoài ra có thể sửa thành are prone to ).

On the other hand, I think there are several ways can be done by parents and government.(đây là solution không dùng conjuntion này).

Ngoài ra thay vì dùng firstly,secondly=>to begin with , furthermore, in addition

Secondly, love eating a lot of fast food can bring about bad habits.(trong academic essay không dùng pharasal verb ).

 They are fatness, unhealthy and unfit to outdoor activities or to do any physical exercise.(chủ ngữ không hòa hợp fitness là danh từ ,unfit là tính từ ).

 Children are interested in playing video or watching TV instead of sport, hence becoming lazy.(vẫn là lỗi không hòa hợp giữa vị ngữ phải thêm playing sau instead of.(5.0)

Answer 2

It today’s world, children are at an increased risk of health problems. In many countries, childhood overweighting overweight is an alarming problem than ever. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences, I believe that some solutions be able to solve this condition.

There are two main factors, that are contributed to childhood obesity. The first is a health issue because of eating a lot of unprepared food. Convenient food has been proved unhealthy because of it is high-fat content that affects the cardiovascular activity system and digestive system. Additionally, it contains a lot of sugar and salt, as well as many ingredients, may be harmful and toxic. Therefore, children easy to get obesity in addition to heart diseases and diabetes. Secondly, love eating a lot of fast food can bring about bad habits. They are fatness fat, unhealthy and unfit to outdoor activities or to do any physical exercise. Children are interested in playing video or watching TV instead of sport, hence becoming lazy.

On the other hand, I think there are several ways can be done by parents and governments. On the side of parents, they should spend time to share the benefits of healthy food with their children and step by step make a healthy eating habit, which provides many nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. Besides, parents should take part in outdoor activities or sport with children to motivate them. The government can contribute by tightening the law on nutritional quality with items prepared to keep in mind to children.

In conclusion, though many countries are falling into this serious situation, we can fight to prevent it by various measures as described above.