Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have

Question

 

It is believed that along with the rapid development of society, humans can now all get access to knowledge, specifically enrolling in university. Besides, governments should also free the tuition for all students from all classes. In my opinion, waiving tuition in some cases sounds great, however, the consequences will later affect badly both students and society.

 

To begin with, the publishing of a free-college policy not only brings many benefits to students but also society. Due to that, many people who had no affordability of higher education, are now able to be entitled to university. Therefore, after graduating, with the acquisition of a tertiary degree, they can easily get well-paid jobs as well as enjoy a better quality of life. In addition, this provision of free-of-charge education will help to promote our society. This policy will create a more and more educated workforce, then lead to the prosperity of the economy as well as a civilized society.

 

Despite the aforementioned benefits, pursuing college without any fee will somehow cause disadvantages to both students and society. Individuals do not have to cover higher education may lead to many serious problems. More and more bachelor’s degree holders mean that the labor market would be competitive than ever. Hence, the value of the degree would be decreased, none of any businesses will hire them easily with just a degree. Moreover, society would also bear a financial burden from that. The rising of the gross enrolment rate would put much pressure on the government, therefore people have to experience an increase in tax or a decline in welfare.

 

Taking everything into consideration, although there are many advantages of not having to cover higher education tuition on all students and society, this will bring adverse effects on students themselves and socio-economic backgrounds. I believe that the government should not make it free for everyone.

 

Answer 1

Let's go through some of your sentences.

"It is believed that along with the rapid development of society, humans can now all get access to knowledge, specifically by/while enrolling in university."

It seemed that you were mentioning a fact or something inherent, so consider leaving out the part "It is believed that". In addition, you should not refer to "humans" this way. This is because "humans" can be put into a context in which you are specifying "people" as a separate species, especially when you are making comparisons. For example, dogs can hear much better than humans.

"In my opinion, waiving tuition in some cases sounds great, however, the consequences will later affect badly both students and society." Consider splitting the sentence into two sentences.

This can also be seen at: "The rising of the gross enrolment rate would put much pressure on the government, therefore people have to experience an increase in tax or a decline in welfare."

"Due to that, many people who had no affordability of higher education, are now able to be entitled to university." 

Why was "the past simple tense' used? Why was there "a comma" after "education'?

"Individuals do not have to cover higher education may lead to many serious problems."

This sentence is ungrammatical, and what did you mean while saying "cover higher education" ?

"Hence, the value of the degree would be decreased, none of any businesses will hire them easily with just a degree." This sentence clearly needs a conjunction.

"Taking everything into consideration, although there are many advantages of not having to cover higher education tuition on all students and society, this will bring adverse effects on students themselves and socio-economic backgrounds."

This sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. You have to rethink the whole sentence.