Xin mọi người tham gia góp ý cho mình bài này ạ [closed]

Question

 

TITLE: Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world’s poverty?? What can be donated to help the poor?

 

The struggle against the world’s poverty, which many counties face, leads to an increasing number of poor people. Thus, it is necessary to examine the main causes before looking for solutions.

It is true that the main issue leading to this trend is underdeveloped economy. The proportion of younger and working adults is decreasing strongly. Therefore, the government receives less money in taxes from them in order to develop country and supply welfare states. The measure would be for government to solve this impact is that the government should arrange the retirement of age to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes.

Addition to above argument, I believe that overpopulation is the subsequent problem reflecting poverty. The birth rate is higher than the death rate in some developing countries in recent years. This problem damages gender differences dramatically. As a result, accommodation is limited and the natural resources are exhausted. From my point of view, applying family planning and using contraceptive method are golden key for fighting this.

The last argument I consider to demonstrate you the result in poverty is illiteracy. The education problem is not priority in some countries having low GPD income, the government have no specific policies for this issue. Especially in highland, the low education level is proper fence making ignorant people. It should be displayed on the table as soon as possible. The government commence to care for their citizens to upgrade education level. Investing finance and universalize education are good solutions in order to face to this potential danger. It is required to encourage people take children to school by donating scholarship or present them free education.

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problem that are certain to arise as the poverty.

(295 words)

Answer 1

countries not 'counties'

are facing not 'face'

from their taxes not 'in taxes from them'

in addition to points mentioned above not 'Addition to above argument'

'This problem damages gender differences dramatically' should have no position in this essay ????

you should not use too much 'argument'

is not at top priority not 'is not priority'

Low education is the unique obstacle, which makes people ignorant

not 'the low education level is proper fence making ignorant people'

GDP not 'GPD'

However, recently the goverment have had the first speculation on raising the education to a higher level

not 'The government commence to care for their citizens to upgrade education level'

To develope long-term financial assets and universalize not 'Investing finance and universalize'

the imminent harships not 'this potential danger'

It requires not 'It is required'

to take children not 'take children'

provide not 'present'

problems certainly accompanied by the poverty.

'problem that are certain to arise as the poverty.'

 

Comments

Cảm ơn bạn :)