It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Nowadays, formal qualifications of university is becoming more important for people to have a better life. But some people argue that providing tertiary education for a high amount of young generations is not possible and useful. I believe, university is not always a best choice for students to find a job.

Firstly, having a university degree no longer plays a important role in the future of young generations. For instance, vocational training can enhances employment opportunities for them to have a job security more easily. People can focus on cultivating interpersonal, teamworking and practical skills more than in university which usually teaches theoretical education. Besides, they are encouraged to do a part-time job or extracurricular activities to improve more essential skills for the future. Furthermore, with the financial predicament, students cannot afford the tuition, especially in many independent universities.

Secondly, it is impossible to provide the majority of young people with access to university education. In knowledge-based society, they need employees who have career prospects after graduation. So if almost people went to university, the competition could be much more higher. It makes the lack of work and the redundant manpower. Also, blue-collar jobs such as working in factories, supplement and stevedore is a little chance that graduated students who have difficulty in finding work would choose, or even the unemployment could be increased.

In conclusion, tertiary education is not necessary for all young generations. Having excellent university degree is good but people can choose their own way to find employment.

Answer 1

Hmm, let's see what I can do for you.

First, "a high amount of young generations" did not make any sense. We use "an amount of" with "uncountable nouns", whereas the noun "generation" is countable. Still, it makes no sense if you say a high number of young generations since the word "generation" refers to all the people of about the same age. You can say "many people of young generations", or more simply, "many young people". In addition, "a high amount of something" is very uncommon to me.

"I believe, university is not always THE best choice for students to find a job."

Why didn't you say "I believe that..." ? If you say "In my opinion, university is not...", the phrase "In my opinion" will work as a modifier for the rest of the sentence. Therefore, you can never say "I believe" with "a comma".

"People can focus on cultivating interpersonal, teamworking and practical skills more than in university which usually teaches theoretical education."

There are some issues in this sentence. "teaches theoretical education" did not make sense, and "teaches" should be "has". Moreover, you were making a comparison between university and "an unknown place", where people could focus on... The "unknown place" makes the whole sentence ambiguous. You can say, for example:

"People can focus on cultivating interpersonal, teamworking and practical skills at home more than at university with theoretical education."