IELTS Task 1 - Pie Chart - Comparing countries

Question

The given bar chart contrasts the spending of 2 nations: France and the UK in terms of cars, computers, books, perfume and cameras in 2010.

Overall, it is readily apparent that cars, books and cameras are spent more in the UK while France people tended to use much money on perfume and computers. Besides, cars accounted for the highest expenditure in both countries. Oppositely, perfume and cameras were less spent than other goods in UK and France respectively.

It is noticeable that cameras in the UK saw an above twofold expenditure comparing to France’s counterpart, which accounted for 350 000 and 150 000 pounds respectively. A similar pattern is revealed in book spending in the UK, which was approximately one-third higher than in France. British people spent approximately 450 000 pounds on cars, higher than that of France, which was exactly 400 000 pounds.

The gap of expense in computers in between 2 countries is the most minimal with a 50 000 pounds higher in France. Moreover, a gradually higher amount of consumption in computers, which is around 25 000 pounds is revealed in France also.

Answer 1

chúc bạn một ngày nhiều niềm vui và may mắn nhe. mình có xíu góp ý hi vọng bạn thấy hữu ích, mình đi từ trên xuống nhé <3 

- it is readily apparent: mình nghĩ ko nên dùng readily ở đây vì ko hợp nghĩa, nếu muốn nói về mức độ bạn có thể dùng "quite" 

- that cars, books and cameras are spent >> chú ý task 1 đa số chia động từ quá khứ nhé (2010 qua r nè)

- có thể thay thế thêm bằng các cụm money paid for hoặc it costed British-French (amount) to buy (things) while the other saved (tiết kiệm) (amount) on same goods...hoặc spending on (things) was more favored để so sánh

- Besides, cars accounted for the highest expenditure in both countries. Oppositely, perfume and cameras were less spent >> thay bằng consumed sẽ đỡ lặp và hợp hơn 

- saw an above twofold expenditure >> mình thấy ngữ pháp ko ổn và cũng chưa hợp lý lắm về nghĩa >> bỏ above hoặc paraphrase lại "spending for cameras in the UK shared twofold value comparing to..."

- A similar pattern is revealed in book spending in the UK >> chú ý chia thì

- British people spent approximately 450 000 pounds on cars, higher >> more (vì spent thì nhiều hơn chứ ko phải cao hơn) than that of France >> that ở đây thế cho gì nhỉ? vì các tân ngữ (object) ở vế trước chỉ có 450 000 pounds hoặc cars mà thế cho 2 này thì đều ko đúng nghĩa ha...bạn xem lại ngữ pháp mệnh đề quan hệ nhé, có thể paraphrase kiểu khác "Money spent on cars in British was 450000 pounds, which was 50000 more than that in France"

- The gap of expense in computers in between 2 countries >> dư "in" 

- is >> was the most minimal with a 50 000 pounds >> sai ngữ pháp rồi, bỏ "a" nhé >> 50000 pounds spent more in France sẽ ổn về nghĩa hơn

- Moreover, a gradually higher amount of consumption in computers, which is around 25 000 pounds, is revealed in France also. >> chú ý chia thì, revealed thay bằng seen cho đỡ lặp nhé