your favorite activity in your free time

Question

In my free time, I do many things but I like watching TV the most. Watching TV is my indoor hobby but it never interferes with my studies at school or at home. The time I spend watching TV depends on what program it is on that day. I always think watching TV is a good activity in my free time because it can provide me a lot about different cultures, customs and traditions of other countris. Moreover, it can also helps me ralax by watching many entertaining programs. I like watching programs about entertainment, romatic comedy such as .......... After a hard working day, my family often have dinner and watch TV. Watching TV is good but if you watch TV too much, it will have an adverse impact on your eyes. Indeed watching TV is the best choice for me in my free time

Answer 1

lặp từ Watching TV quá nhiều khiến câu văn không được trôi chảy,thay vào đó có thể sử dụng ngữ pháp nối cấu với ''which'',"That" hoặc thay bằng chủ ngữ "it"

At school or at home -> at school or home ( lỗi lặp từ)
countris -> countries

helps -> help ( can + V số ít)
ralax -> relax

romatic -> romantic

hard working -> hard - working ( need a hypen)
my family ( plural noun) -> have -> has

similar above sentence, watch -> watches ( cause, my family is a plural noun )
have an adverse impact on -> harm/hurt on your eyes ( conciseness,chú ý rút gọn câu để không lủng củng)