chữa giúp em đoạn này với ạ. in yourr opinion, why do so many people want to learn eanglish. write a short paragraph to give a few strong example to support your answer

Question

English is the language of science, aviation, computers, diplomacy, business, and tourism. Knowing English increases your chances to build a successful career. English is also the most used language in the world. It has become the only language of international communication, the media, and the internet. So learning English is very important to keep pace with the competitive world. There are many reasons why learning English is important. At first, English is the official language of over 53 countries and spoken by over 400 million people. It is the most common second language of people all over the world. If we would like to talk to someone from another country, we must know English. So, English is the only language of international communication. It is also the language of business. Multinational companies and business firms use English as their official language. They need employees who know English because cross border communication is conducted in English.

Answer 1

Hi,

Bài của bạn có những ý tưởng phù hợp với yêu cầu đề bài, ngữ pháp tốt. Tuy nhiên, các ý này chưa được sắp xếp một cách hợp lý, và không có các từ nối để kết nối các câu mang ý nghĩa liền mạch, hoặc để phân cách câu có ý nghĩa khác với câu trước đó. Việc đó dẫn đến đoạn văn của bạn trở nên khá lủng củng. Đây là 1 lỗi rất thường gặp ở các bài viết có phân khúc thấp  (< 6)

Trong phần gợi ý chữa, mình chỉ đơn thuần thay đổi trật tự và thêm các từ nối để bài văn mới trở nên trôi chảy hơn so với trước đó.

Gợi ý chữa:

There are many reasons why learning English is important. First, English is the most used language in the world. English is the official language of over 53 countries and spoken by over 400 million people. Additionally, it is the most common second language of people all over the world. Secondly, multinational companies and business firms use English as their official language because English is the language of science, aviation, computers, diplomacy, business, and tourism. These are the reasons why we must know English if we would like to talk to someone from another country or to work for multinational companies who need employees to know English for cross-border communication. Therefore, many people want to learn this language so that they can increase their chances to build a successful career and to keep pace with the world where the dominant language is English.

Phân khúc từ 6 -6.5: Ở mức độ này người đọc có thể nắm đại ý bài của bạn mà không gặp quá nhiều rắc rối do việc sắp xếp câu văn không phù hợp hoặc không có các từ nối gây ra.

Link bài gốc: https://chuawritingmienphi.com/index.php/12064/yourr-opinion-people-learn-eanglish-short-paragraph-strong-example-support-answer

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