ip.chuawriting
Post bài mới

Lưu ý: Check bài viết với Grammarly trước để tránh lỗi đơn giản! Click banner dưới đây để check


Chúng mình đang tuyển CTV chữa bài CÓ TRẢ PHÍ - các bạn có thể apply ở đây: "https://forms.gle/cpVjgt2TggRyVckHA"
Website Chuawritingmienphi là forum chữa bài miễn phí, được chữa từ chính cộng đồng học IELTS.
Các bạn xem bài chữa mẫu tại "http://bit.ly/baichuaW-demo"
Đối với các bài chữa thiếu nghiêm túc sẽ được kiểm duyệt và BAN tài khoản của học viên đó.
Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm point nhé :)

3.7k Bài viết

4.9k Góp ý

2.5k bình luận

110k thành viên

Question: Some people think an aging population can cause big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 

People have different views about whether old people would bring more benefits or drawbacks for  business, government and for society in general.  Although it can be argued that old people can cause several challenges, I believe that the advantages they bring would be bigger.

On the one hand, some people are convinced that an aging population can cause many disadvantages . Firstly, old people can negatively affect the development of companies. This is because they have low technological abilities while the young can catch up with the latest technical trend instantly and excel in computers. As a result, there will be less innovation and change in organization. Secondly, the generation can put a heavy pressure on the government and society. When there are more old people, there will be more pensions and healthcare services. Therefore, the government can suffer from financial problems. Besides , some old people who don't have any pensions can be a burden for their families.

On the other hand, from my view point, this generation can bring more benefits. To begin with, old people can perform better than the young as they have accumulated more skills and experiences. Therefore, they can bring valid values to the companies. Furthermore, there are more old people, there will be more volunteers for the economy.  After a long time working, almost all old people have earned enough money that they can be willing to pay comfortably. This can help the economy improve and thrive.

In conclusion, while it is true that old people can cause many problems , I would completely agree that this generation can contribute a lot to business, governments and society in general.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã hỏi trong Opinion bởi (0 điểm)
share bài về Wall để xem lại ===>

2 góp ý

0 phiếu
 
góp ý hay nhất

Question: Some people think an aging population can cause big problems. Others, however, think the aging population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 

People have different views about whether old people would bring more benefits or drawbacks for  business, government and for to society in general as a whole.  Although it can be argued is true that old people can cause several challenges, I believe that the advantages they bring would be bigger.

On the one hand, some people are convinced that an aging population may cause many disadvantages . Firstly, old people can negatively affect the development of companies. This is because they have low technological abilities while the young can catch up with the latest technical trend instantly and excel in computers. As a result, there will be less innovations and changes in organization. Secondly, the generation can put a heavy pressure on the government and society. When there are more old people, there An ageing population will be demand an increasing need for more pensions money and healthcare services. Therefore, the government nation can suffer from financial problems. Besides, some old people who don't do not (van phong trang trong) have any pensions can be a burden for their families. Then come frequent conflicts among family members, as aged citizens tend to be meddlesome and stubborn. 

 

On the other hand, from my view point, this generation can bring more benefits. To begin with, old people can perform better than the young as they have accumulated more skills and experiences. Therefore As a result, they can certainly bring valid values to the companies. Furthermore, there are more old people, there will be more volunteers for the economy old people will be the knowledgeable volunteer staffs for the economy .  After a long time working a lasting length of service, almost all old people have earned enough money that they can be willing to pay live comfortably, then they willing contribute to community and government projects such as teaching, management, scientific research and politics thanks to their extensive experience. This can help the society improve and thrive.

 

In conclusion, while it is true that old people can cause many problems , I would completely agree that this old generation can contribute a lot to business, governments and society in general.

 

Note: Cá nhân mình thấy bài bạn khá ổn.

Và mình nghĩ bạn nên cho thêm benefits vào phần 2 thân bài nha.

đặc biệt là văn phong trang trọng không viết tắt nhé

Bài này mình sửa theo những câu mình nghĩ là hay thôi.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (152 điểm)
được bầu chọn là bài viết hay nhất bởi
0 phiếu

People have different views about whether old people -->  population would bring more benefits or drawbacks for  business, government and for society in general.  Although it can be argued that old people -->  aging population can cause several challenges, I believe that the advantages they bring would be bigger.

On the one hand, some people are convinced that an aging population can cause many disadvantages . Firstly, old people can negatively affect the development of companies. This is because they have low technological abilities while the young can catch up with the latest technical trend instantly and excel in computers. As a result, there will be less innovation and change in organizations. Secondly, the generation can put a heavy pressure on the government and society. When there are more old people, there will be more pensions and healthcare services. Therefore, the government can suffer from financial problems. Besides , some old people who don't have any pensions can be a burden for their families.

On the other hand, from my view point, this generation can bring more benefits. To begin with, old people can perform better than the young as they have accumulated more skills and experiences. Therefore, they can bring valid values to the companies. Furthermore, there are more old people, there will be more volunteers for the economy.  After a long time working, almost all old people have earned enough money that they can be willing to pay comfortably. This can help the economy improve and thrive. -> more developing and thriving.

In conclusion, while  -->  although it is true that old people can cause many problems , I would completely agree that this generation can contribute a lot to business, governments and society in general.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý bởi (302 điểm)

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

Bắt đầu nhận xét ở mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để bắt đầu kiếm Điểm nhé :)

Tham khảo các bài viết tương tự

...