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In today’s society , all people tend to let children us mobile phones .It is a big development step new in recent times .Let’s analyze how they have advantages and disadvantages .

Some of the advantages when children use mobile phones .Firstly, mobile phone can help children silent when they eat rice , they can watch cartoon or YouTube channels for kids and will not disturb parents are resting. Next, parents can focus more work , when children use mobile phones, parents can solve work faster and add search jobs ,to increase family finances .Next , mobile phone can help children learn online, during the virus outbreak , children can learn at home through connect with teacher by  mobile, so that the lesson ends on schedule .

However, talk about disadvantages to be not small , research suggest parents should tight control when children use mobile phones too much .Firstly , they will can be bad for children ‘s eyes , if children spend  using  too much  time mobile phones, they will be near – sighted . Continue ,they can contain violent , if children use too much mobile phones, they will makes children more aggressive by violent actions . Next , they cannot advance next to the level , when children more focus use mobile phones instead of doing their homework , so will to result in they can get bad grades .

In conclusion , children use mobile phones always have some good and bad sides .On the one hand ,children can online  learn at home when virus outbreak .On the other hand , they can get bad grades if they spend time on using mobile phones.

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In today’s society  Nowaday, all people parents tend to let their children use mobile phones at an early age .It is a big development step new in recent times (mình nghĩ câu này hơi lủng củng, không rõ ý, không liên kết).Let’s analyze how they have advantages and disadvantages .   This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.


It is unarguable that children can benefit from using mobile phones in many ways. [Some of the advantages when children use mobile phones ].Firstly, mobile phone can help make children to keep quiet silent when eating they eat rice (không cần dùng "rice" nha bạn). For instance,they can watch cartoons or on YouTube channels for kids so that they and will not disturb their parents are resting. Next Therefore, they can focus more on their job and work more effectively.  when children use mobile phones, (không cần lặp lại) parents can solve work faster and add search jobs ,to increase family finances .Next (lặp từ) Besides, mobile phones can help children learn online, especially during the pandemic[the virus outbreak] . Children can learn study at home with a phone connected to the Internet. through connect with teacher by  mobile, so that the lesson ends on schedule .
+ thêm vài ý nữa ví dụ như: search information, contact their parents
However, talk about (văn nói => talking about) there are also considerable disadvantages to children using smartphones to be not small (sai nghĩa). Research It is suggested parents should tight control when children use mobile phones too much monitor their children's use of all technological devices. Firstly , they will can be bad for children‘s eyes. , If children spend  using  too much  time using/on (spend sth on/doing sth) mobile phones, they will be near – sighted . Continue  (continue là verb) Continue (continue là verb) ,they (they là gì" => chưa nêu rõ) can contain violent (violent là adj) , if children use too much mobile phones (câu này của bạn ý là "nếu trẻ dùng quá nhiều cái điện thoại) , they will makes children more aggressive by violent actions Secondly, children can be exposed to violence or adult contents which are not censored strictly on the Internet. Consequently, they can have a negative impact on children's behaviours.    Next Finally, children are unlikely to get good grades because  they spend time on phones instead of doing their homework which results in short attention span and falling behind with their peers cannot advance next to the level , when  , so (không có chủ ngữ) will to result in they can get bad grades .
In conclusion , children use mobile phones (đây là một câu, chưa là chủ ngữ) children's use of smartphones has both positive and negative sides .On the one hand ,children can online  learn at home when virus outbreak .On the other hand , they can get bad grades if they spend time on using mobile phones.   Misusage cell phones can be harmful to kids because they are easily distracted from their studying by attractive features. In contrast, limit usage of mobile phones and parents' supervision help children learn and operate the mobile in extraordinary way of success in their future lives.
theo mình thì ngữ pháp và từ vựng của bạn chưa đủ tốt, bạn nên trao dồi thêm trước. Cách viết của bạn còn dựa vào tiếng việt nhiều quá (dịch word-by-word). Câu cú còn lủng củng, chưa rõ ý, lặp cấu/cấu trúc nhiều. Ngắt câu, dấu câu dùng chưa đúng. Bạn nên học các từ nối (linking words) nữa nha
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