children these day spend a lot of time apart from their parents because in many homes, both parents work.

Question

It is true that parents are lack of spending time for their children due to busy work. While this is a serious problem, it can be solved by spending more time taking care of their childs.


Nowadays, children may be left alone, or with nannies or babbysisters because their parents spent all day long working. So that childrens and their parents seem to be less close as the used to. Busy parents have less contact with childs. This can cause negative physical and mental effect for children. It is evident that children may be lack of family bonding and parent’s emotion. Besides, athough the childs was taken after by others, it is not careful as their mother. Sometimes children have to stay at home lonely which could cause dangerous for them.


However, there are some solution to this problem. One of the ways is the authority should carry out a plenty of strict policy about labour law. Parents also should arrange their work to take time to look afer their childs. Moreover, children should be early educated about taking care of and protecting themselves when they stay at home without guardians. Schools should establish more facilities and after-school programs for students to participate in some activities. It is best opportunities to enhance their social skills. In some developed countries like Japan, Korean or England facilities of their school is well-prepared to deserve for students after school-programs, so parents are not feel anxious for their childs.

Answer 1

your idea is good. however, you still have some grammar errors needed to be corrected. also, in the second paragraph, you should name just one or two reasons and then explain them; instead of listing the causes. in addition, you have not be able to use advanced words, collocation,.. besides, the number of words is not enough, try to write about 290 words. over and above, your essay needs an ending, otherwise you would lose your points.

good luck!