Bài ielts task 1 - LIFE CIRCLE OF THE FOGS Process

Question

The picture demonstrates about different stages in the life of a frog.

Overall, what stands out the process that there are six different steps in the development of a frog. Beginning with mating between male and female and ending with the appearance of nature adult frog.

As can be seen from the process, at the first stages, a couple of female and male mate together, then the female frogs lay much frogspawn which located in a particular place in the water. At step three, These frogspawn hatches from eggs and become the little small tadpole emerges.

At the steps, fourth is shown that, the small tadpole emerges grows remarkably with  the appearance of two legs and long tail. Following the development of tadpole, these have two legs additional but the tail is shortened as the young frog. Finally, The body develops a bigger size and it has no tail, which is called mature frogs. It is ready to leave the water and become an adult frog.

Answer 1

Bài viết của bạn có sử dụng nhiều từ ngữ mới. Song có vài chỗ cần chỉnh sửa. Thứ nhất là ở phần As can be see, để tạo tính gẫn gũi với người đọc, nên sửa thành As we can see. At the first stages thì không cần phải là số nhiều mà sửa thành During the first stage. Ở chỗ 'lay much frogspawns' thì chưa phù hợp lắm, có thể mình nên viết thành "lay a great amount of frog eggs". Tiếp theo ở câu cuối đoạn 2 nên sửa đổi lại, chuyển thành "These eggs will then hatch into little tadpoles". Không cần dùng từ "emerges". Đoạn cuối đổi thành: Finally, during stage fourth it is shown that. tadpole thêm "S' vì sẽ có nhiều con dù khả năng sống sót của trứng đến giai đoạn trưởng thành là thấp nhưng không dừng lại ở số 1. Còn 1 ít nữa nên mình quyết định sửa cả bài : 

The picture demonstrates four different stages during the life circle of a frog.

Overal, there are six different steps in the development of a frog. Beginning with the mating between a couple of male and female frog that will later end with the appearance of adult frog.

As we can see, during the first stage of the process a couple of female and male frog mate together, the female frog will then lay a great amount of eggs that will be located in a particular place in the water, this is counted as the second stage. For the third stage, the eggs will then hatch after a certain amount of time and tadpoles will emerege from the eggs.

Finally, it is shown that, during the fourth stage, the small tadpoles will grow remarkably in size with  the appearance of two legs and a long tail. The tadpoles will then reach the adult stage when they willh ave two additional legs but the tail is shortened. The body continue to grow into a bigger size and the tail will disappear, leaving small trace of it. The tadpole is now a mature frog. It is ready to leave the water to continue the life circle of its species.