Nhận xét chung:
- Bạn sử dụng các dấu chấm, phẩy chưa đúng, nên chú ý thêm phần này.
Ex: To begin with,There => To begin with ,there
…..attend University .Personally, => …attend University. Personally,
- Bạn sử dụng từ viết hoa chưa thống nhất, ví dụ như university và University
- Mình chỉ góp ý, chỉnh phần ngữ pháp thôi nhé, còn nội dung thì mình khó góp được
To begin with,There are some reasons why students attend University .Personally,I widely believe that the three common reasons are to prepare for a better career,to have get /earn new experiences,and to increase widen their knowledge of themselves over of the world .
Firstly,Career preparation is likely to be/ is possibly the principal reason that/why people attend university.Nowadays,the labour market is intensely competitive,manpower need to have knowledge if you have a bachelor degree you will have more chances to get suitable job.Careers such as like In today’s world the current use of technology is are ever increasing than ever before.Therefore , information technology will need many employee employees in the near future..At university ,students learn good skills for these career and increase their opportunities for the future.Moreover,They learn ways which help them feel more confident in a crowd.
(Đoạn mình bôi đỏ có vẻ như ý của nó không thống nhất với ý của cả đoạn, nên bỏ đoạn này hoặc chuyển sang đoạn văn khác)
Secondly,Students also go to university to have get new experiences.For many ,It is the first time to be/live away from their home.At university ,they can meet new people from many different places and various cultures.They can behold what life is like in a experience a new life in a different city. Futhermore ,they can learn to live alone and take care themselves by themselves and look after themselves without having their parent nearby.Despite knowing that ,They encounter many difficulties during the first. However, they will meet/deal with/encounter many difficulties at the first stage of living far away from home.
Finally,At university ,students have the many occasion opportunies to increase widen their knowledge.Due to , they themselves decide what they want to study ,interact with their classmate and pursue their ambition .they learn a lot about themselves.They also have the opportunity to learn many subjects in their classes.In addition to the skills and knowledge related relating/ that relates to their career (câu này chưa đủ nghĩa, chỉ mới có một cụm từ, bạn xem lại nhé).However ,This it will be their last chance to study various subjects.
University offer much more than career preparation .They offer the opportunity to have new experiences and to learn many kinds of thing such as social professional knowledge and social/ soft skills .Therefore ,I think all of these are reasons why people attend university. If we have a chance, we should attend university to prepare for our future.