Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Question

People have a different view regarding whether to invest money in encouraging a bicycle riding or to promote better public transport servicers. I believe that money should be spent in both because both are beneficial to society, but massive amount to the public transport.

            On the one hand, I agree that spending for using bicycle has several advantages. Everyday riding bicycle is a good workout and helps to keep people physically fit. Encourage people to adopt this healthy lifestyle, could prevent a vast number of diseases such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Besides, it saves inexpensive and eco-friendly. These transport modes reduce the number of cars usage, which reduces the emission of toxic pollutants such as carbon mono oxide and sulfur dioxide. Finally, it is a good transport system for short distance travel.

           On the other hand, I argue that investing money in public transportation is also important. The move by bus or motorbike is more comfortable and also requires less effort and time to reach a long designation. If we want to visit family or hang out somewhere, the facilities will be convenient for us. An excellent public transport discourages a usage of personal cars. As a result, it reduces traffic congestion and pollution. Besides that, these kinds of transportation services reduce travel expense for citizens and increase their safety. Finally, it is a symbol of the modern development of a city.

         In sum up, I agree that investing a small proportion of money in promoting the use of a bicycle for a short distance and massive fund for public transport is also necessary. However, other types of vehicles should still be parallel to it.

Answer 1

People have different views regarding whether to invest money in encouraging a bicycle riding (cụm này không có nghĩa, sửa : cycling hoặc riding bikes) or to promote better public transport service. I believe that money should be spent in both because both (lặp từ) are beneficial to society, but massive amount to the public transport. (không có nghĩa, mình không hiểu ý bạn câu này)
 

On the one hand, I agree that spending for using bicycle has several advantages. Everyday riding bicycle everyday is a good workout and helps to keep people physically fit. Encouraging people to adopt this healthy lifestyle, (không phẩy ở đây) could prevent a vast number of diseases, (phẩy ở đây) such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Besides, it saves inexpensive and eco-friendly. (không đúng ngữ pháp, save cái gì? inexpensive và eco-friendly là adj không phải noun, đề xuất sửa : it is inexpensive and eco-friendly because.... [giải thích thêm]). These transport modes reduce the number of cars usage, which reduces (lặp từ) the emission of toxic pollutants such as carbon mono oxide and sulphur dioxide. Finally, it is a good transport system for short distance travel.

           On the other hand, I argue that investing money in public transportation is also important. The move (?) by bus or motorbike is more comfortable and also requires less effort and (lặp, không có ngắt nghỉ) time to reach a long designation. If we want to visit family or hang out somewhere, the facilities will be convenient for us. An excellent public transport discourages a usage of personal cars. As a result, it reduces traffic congestion and pollution. Besides that, these kinds of transportation services reduce travel expense for citizens and increase their safety. Finally, it is a symbol of the modern development of a city. (không hợp lý lắm)

         To sum up, I agree that investing a small proportion of money in promoting the use of a bicycle for a short distance and massive fund for public transport is also necessary. (không nên đưa ý tưởng mới ở kết bài, ở phần thân bài bạn không có đề cập là chia cái nào nhiều chia cái nào ít đâu?) However, other types of vehicles should still be parallel to it.  (phần này cũng không có trong thân bài luôn)

Bạn chỉ nên re-paraphase lại và tóm tắt những ý chính

 

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