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When I have to study or work too much, I usually feel tired and bored,so I want to relax. And reading book is a good way for me .  I read news, story books and novels. In addition, i also read knowledge books.  Reading is such a good habit which healthy for your brain and keeps your brain functioning actively.  By reading, I get better at concentration because it requires me to focus on what I am reading for long periods. It also opens up the knowledge door for me. I can learn about different cultures of other countries in the world. When reading books on topics of science, history, geography, ... i can learn more new knowledge about different areas of life. In fact, it is not just about acquiring and improving knowledge, reading books also fosters good thoughts and feelings, helping us to improve in all aspects.  Reading makes me feel relaxed and calm. Beside, i learned to be more patient in everything. In conclusion, I really like reading books, for it brings many good things to me. I see it as an useful activity to learn how to make life more meaningful and beautiful.
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in my opinion,this essay is only 3,5 according to Ielts exam ...
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chữa giúp em với ạ
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When I have to study or work too much, I usually feel tired and bored,so I want to relax. And reading book is a good way for me .  I read news, story stories books and novels. In addition, I also read knowledge books which have useful knowledge.  Reading is such a good habit which is healthy for your brain and keeps your brain functioning actively.  By reading, I get better at concentration because it requires me to focus on what I am reading for a long periods. It also opens up the knowledge door for me. I can learn about different cultures of other countries in the world. When reading books on topics of science, history, geography, ... i can learn more new knowledge about different (aspects/respects) areas of life. In fact, it is not just about acquiring and improving knowledge, reading books also fosters good thoughts and feelings, helping us to improve in all aspects.  Reading makes me feel relaxed and calm. Beside, I i learned to be more patient in my daily life everything. In conclusion, I really like reading books because , for it brings many good things to me. I see it as an useful activity to learn how to make life more meaningful and beautiful.

Suggestion:

I usually feel exhausted whenever I have to deal with many homeworks or work obligations. Therefore, relaxation is the optimal choice for me to recharge my energy, and I choose to read books.

From my perspective, it is not only a good way for me to absorb useful knowledge but also helps me to form a long-lasting reading habit which is considerably benificial for my brain. By reading, I have more chances to approach a huge amount of valuable information which provides a deeper grasp (understanding) about differences between cultures, for example, and also I am able to improve my concentration gradually. In addition, reading helps me learn to be more patient in my daily life.

In conclusion, I am really interested in reading books due to (because of) its advantageous outcomes. In my opinion, it is an effective activity as I can learn a lot about numerous aspects of life.  

Trên là bài mình viết dựa vào ý trong bài của bạn, bạn có thể tham khảo thêm ạ. Về phần bài của bạn thì mình chỉ sửa một vài lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng thôi ạ.  

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