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Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, news about serious issues in all nations across the globe has gained increasing popularity. While it is believed that the dominance of tragic news can result in the deterioration for our society, I advocate that advantages this kind of news brings to us are also of great importance.

There are some sound reasons why the lack of positive news has some adverse effects on our lives. The first reason is that it causes great distress to citizens. For example, if people, particularly senior citizens, have to expose to a lot of information on crimes including snatch theft or homicide, they will be prone to mental illnesses such as depression and lose belief on everyone, which leads to the loss of the sense of community. Other than that, news about those who have overcome setbacks for the sake of their success motivates people to pursue their passion. This is because individuals, especially children and teenagers, can adopt their positive attitudes to make efforts and achieve their goals.

On the other hand, people can reap great benefit from negative news for compelling explanations. First of all, it helps people become well-prepared in cases of emergency. The reason is that people have easier access to reliable statistics and follow proper precautions with a view to preventing not only themselves but also the society from pandemics such as nCoV-19 or Ebola and catastrophes. Moreover, this kind of publications is also a rational method to heighten citizens’ awareness of global issues consisting of the destruction of the environment or the increasing crime rate. For instance, photos of shrinking habitats or fatalities which are consequences of violating traffic law can act as a deterrent to actions deteriorating the environment and would-be law breakers.

All in all, not only tragic but also welcomed news plays essential roles in our society; therefore, people are entitled to be informed both of them. (Thank you so much heart)

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Nowadays, news about serious issues in all nations across the globe has gained increasing popularity. While it is believed that the dominance of tragic news can result in the deterioration for our society, I  advocate that advantages which this kind of news brings (chủ ngữ ở đây là advantages, không phải news) to us are also of great importance.

There are some sound reasons why the lack of positive news has some adverse effects on our lives. The first reason is that it causes great distress to citizens. For example, if people, particularly senior citizens, have to expose to a lot of information on crimes including snatch theft or homicide, they will be prone to mental illnesses (mental illness là uncountable noun) such as depression and lose belief on in everyone, which leads to the loss of the sense of community. Other than that, news about those who have overcome setbacks for the sake of their success motivates people to pursue their passion. This is because individuals, especially children and teenagers, can adopt their positive attitudes to make efforts and achieve their goals.

On the other hand, people can reap great benefit from negative news for compelling explanations. First of all, it helps people become well-prepared in cases of emergency. The reason is that people have easier access to reliable statistics and follow proper precautions with a view to preventing not only themselves but also the society from pandemics such as nCoV-19 or Ebola and catastrophes. Moreover, this kind of publications is also a rational method to heighten citizens’ awareness of global issues consisting of the destruction of the environment or the increasing crime rate. For instance, photos of shrinking habitats or fatalities which are consequences of violating traffic law can act as a deterrent to actions deteriorating the environment and would-be law breakers.

All in all, not only tragic but also welcomed news plays essential roles in our society; therefore, people are entitled to be informed both of them.

 

General feedback : Make well use of high level and advanced vocabularies as well as phrases and collocations, however, it causes confusion and complexity so you should reduce some of them to make it more easier to read. Your band score is around 7.0

P/s : the feedback below is not by a professional but personal experiment, if there is any confusion please let me know. Thank you <3

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* personal experience
Cảm ơn bạn đã check bài giúp mình. Nhưng mình có một ý như thế này nhé. Phần mở bài chỗ chữ which đó là thế cho tân ngữ (This kind of news brings "advantages" to us) nên chủ ngữ trong mệnh đề which ko phải là "advantages" mà là "this kind of news" bạn nhé. Một lần nữa cảm ơn bạn

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