IELTS writting task 2 (19/03)

Question

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

 

Some people think the large number of common products are sold that is a result of strong advertising and not reflect the demand of customers. I can not accept this statement. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

Firstly, the power of advertising is presented by the popular of communication. In some special situations such as pandemic, the communication will give priority to update the disease information and the advertisement will be weakness. At the same time, the necessary goods which are support them in the against long-term epidemic namely antiseptic gel, tissue, noodles, canned food and others daily items were bought. One clear example is SARS epidemic occured between 2002 and 2003. During the period time, although no facemask advertisements on television, this one are sold out and many factories did not manufacture it in time with demand.

Another reason is the purchasing power is depend on using value of merchandise. Nowaday, buyers have various chooose and they are prefer versatile commodities despite of high price than cheap but few useful ones. For instance, the new design of smartphone are usually attract many people than the improved camera although the popularization of promotion is similar. As the smartphone has not only total camera applications but also the others technology devices.

In conclusion, advertisement can not completely effect on the decision of consumers. Products are manufactured depending on the needs of society. People will not buy something neverless it is useful for thier life.

Answer 1

Some people think that the large number of common products which are sold that is a result of strong advertising and does not reflect the demand of customers. I can not accept disagree with this statement. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

Firstly, the power of advertising is presented by the popular of communication. In some special situations such as pandemic, the communication will give priority to update the disease information and the advertisement will be weakness. At the same time, the necessary goods which are support them in the against long-term epidemic namely antiseptic gel, tissue, noodles, canned food and others daily items are bought. One clear example is SARS epidemic occured between 2002 and 2003. During the period of time, although no facemask advertisements on television, this these ones are sold out and many factories did not manufacture it in time with demand.

Another reason is the purchasing power is depends on using value of merchandise. Nowaday, buyers have various chooose choices and they are prefer versatile commodities despite of high price rather than cheap but less useful ones. For instance, the new design of smartphone are usually attracts more many people than the improved camera although the popularization popularity of promotion is similar. As the smartphone has not only total camera applications but also the others technology advancements.

In conclusion, advertisement can not completely effect on the decision of consumers. Products are manufactured depending on the needs of society. People will not buy something neverless if it is useful for their life.

Answer 2

5.0 - 5.5

I guess that you're trying to use big words, but they won't give you high marks if grammar structures and connection are still faulty. Prepositions, which ought to be there, aren't there.

The coherence and cohesion are not really strong, either. As a readers, there are parts, where I fell a lil confusion

However, the effort you put into this, is lovely!

Not a pro or anything, just stating my opinion. Peace!!