Bài IELTS Task 1

Question

Đề:The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Bài viết của mình:

The table presents the percentage of people living in destitution from 6 different Australian household types in 1999.

In general, the proportion of impoverished families ranged from the highest number of just over 20% to the lowest one of under 5%. Whereas sole parent made the highest percentage of needy families, poverty was the least common in aged couple.

As can be seen from the table, about one-tenth of Australian had to live in poverty, approximately at 1.8 million. Poverty rates were noticeably lower among old people, with the figure of just under and over 50 thousand for aged couple and single old person respectively. 

According to the data, single parent were the most likely to be poor, followed by single person with the figure being a little lower, at 19%. Only 7% of single couple were classed as indigent, at around 200 thousand, while the figure for couple with children was much higher, at nearly 1 million. Also, parents with children registered the highest number among those family types, half the figure of all impoverished Australian households. 

 

Answer 1

Good essay. However, I think in the overall, you need to take away the numbers which have showed in the bodies. Just mention the highest and lowest ojbect

Comments

personally, I don't think that's really neccessary.

if one method is being done over and over again, it'd create the "stiffness" in one's writing trend.

personally, i think that the essay was written with good flow, although there're still some bugs contained.