Đề thi IELTS task 2 chính thức 2/11/2019 - ideal societ

Question

As our civilization is on its upsurge, many people have the tendency to lead the society to become such an ideal aspect for a better living standard, but they try in vain many times when making this prospect happen. The following essay will elaborate what an ideal society is and come up with the way to create a livable community.

To begin, almost everyone tend to desire for an ideal society because living a good community helps them become more compassionate and considerate. To illustrate my point, I will give a prime example which turns up in my neighborhood. The area where I live is regarded as an ideal place to live because of its good security and lifestyle of residents. They are always willing to stand by one another as follows supporting both physical and mental health such as fundraising to help the poor or lending an ear to give sound advice when some of whom are in trouble. These activities not only boost the relationship among people but also better their behavior with others. Moreover, an ideal society is considered as a peaceful space without crime, terror and war. It is apparent that these factors result in many serious problems such as famine, extreme weather and even mutual murder, which makes the earth become a hell to live rather than livable planet.

How can we improve our society? In my opinion, first of all, each individual should be aware of their own responsibility to create an ideal community by fulfilling their gap of character and manner, taking part in more extracurricular activities or doing charity works. Government and authorities should also propose a course of action to guarantee the security of regions. More surveillance camera should be installed as well to avoid criminals committing a crime and conflicts among neighbors.

In conclusion. creating an ideal society is everyone's duty. It depends on how hard they try to achieve this accomplishment.

Answer 1

As our civilization is on its upsurge, many people have the tendency (unnecessarily wordy => tend) to lead the society to become such an ideal aspect for a better living standard, but they. Still, they try in vain many times when making this prospect happen. The following essay will elaborate on what an ideal (repeated => a perfect) society is and come up with the a way to create a livable community.

To begin, almost everyone tends to desire for an ideal society because living a good community helps them become more compassionate and considerate. To illustrate my point, I will give a prime example which that turns up in my neighborhood. The area where I live is regarded as an ideal place to live because of its good (overused=> excellent) security and lifestyle of residents. They are always willing to stand by one another as follows, supporting both physical and mental health, such as fundraising to help the poor or lending an ear to give sound advice when some of whom are in trouble. These activities not only boost the relationship among people but also better their behavior with others. Moreover, an ideal society is considered as a peaceful space without crime, terror, and war. It is apparent that (wordy)  These factors result in many serious problems such as famine, extreme weather, and even mutual murder, which makes the earth become a hell to live rather than a livable planet.

How can we improve our society? In my opinion, first of all, each individual should be aware of their own (create tautology) responsibility to create an ideal community by fulfilling their gap of character and manner, taking part in more extracurricular activities, or doing charity works.The government and authorities should also propose a course of action to guarantee the security of regions. More surveillance camera should be installed as well to avoid criminals committing a crime and conflicts among neighbors.

In conclusion, creating an ideal society is everyone's duty. It depends on how hard they(unclear) individuals try to achieve this accomplishment.