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Explain some of the ways in which human are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems ? What can individual people do ?
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Environmental issue is one of the most important challenges almost every country is facing. It is true that our fragile planet is destroyed gradually by human activities. However, some measures for both authorities and citizens could be taken to tackle the problem.
Two biggest threats to the environment are air pollution and waste. Gas emission from manufactories and exhaust fumes from vehicle lead to global warming, which has a direct impact on human beings. On the other hand, a vast amount of rubbish from both industrial zones and residential areas is a potential problem which need to be resolved by not only leaders of country but also every single individual.
Governments could solve this difficulty by enacting stricter environment laws to punish law breakers. For instance, some countries do not appreciate environmental protection and have a lot of policies to boost industrial development. These result in plenty of waste released from factories and houses. With the suitable legislations, government will be able to control the stage of the country 
The second measure would be for individuals to raise the public’s awareness of environmental issue. Everyone should join hands to preserve our world by various ways such as leading green consuming habits, making the most of recycle products or using fuel-efficient vehicles. In addition to this, we should say no utilizing plastic shopping, which will have a positive influence on our environment
In conclusion, various effective methods could be taken to deal with many serious environmental problems of our fragile planet. Both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.

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Environmental issue is one of the most important challenges almost every country is facing. It is true that our fragile planet is being destroyed gradually by human activities. However, some measures for both authorities and citizens could be taken to tackle the problem.
Two biggest threats to the environment are air pollution and waste. Gas emission from manufactories and exhaust fumes from vehicle lead to global warming, which has a direct impact on human beings. On the other hand, a vast amount of rubbish from both industrial zones and residential areas is a potential problem which need to be resolved by not only leaders of countries but also every single individual.
Governments could solve these difficulties by enacting stricter environment laws to punish law breakers. For instance, some countries do not appreciate environmental protection and have a lot of policies to boost industrial development. These result in plenty of waste was released from factories and houses. With the suitable legislations, government will be able to control the stage of the country 
The second measure would be for individuals to raise the public’s awareness of environmental issue. Everyone should join hands to preserve our world by various ways such as leading green consuming habits, making the most of recycle products or using fuel-efficient vehicles. In addition, we should say no utilizing plastic shopping, which will have a positive influence on our environment
In conclusion, various effective methods can be taken to deal with many serious environmental problems of our fragile planet. Both national governments and individuals must play their parts in looking after the environment.

 

 

My comment: good idea, good vocabulary and grammar. However, I think you should divide reasons into one paragraph and solutions into one paragraph (you divided into 2 paras). The length of each body para should be separate equally. It is not good that one para is too long, and the other is too short. You should use more connection words, specially between paragraphs. But, I am not an English expert or teacher as well, so that my correction can be wrong in some ways smiley

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Thank you so much :)
I'm going to get IELTS certificate with score 6.0 . It's not high
I wonder why you fixed some words like " CAN " "COUTRIES " " THESE DIFFICULTIES " :)
cho mình được phép dùng tiếng việt nhé.
Mình nghĩ là dùng "can" bởi vì những cái giải pháp bạn nêu ra ko chỉ đã sử dụng trong quá khứ mà ngay hiện tại nó cũng có thể sử dụng đc. Nếu bạn dùng "could" thì có nghĩa là đã làm và đã kết thúc trong quá khứ. Mình nghĩ vậy. Vì mình không hiểu rõ ý bạn lắm, là bạn dùng để diễn tả dự đoán hay sao.
"Countries" là vì ngay đoạn mở bài bạn sử dụng "authorities" là số nhiều, thì mình thấy đến đoạn thứ hai cũng nên sử dụng "leaders of countries" sẽ đồng nhất hơn. Và vấn đề môi trường đâu phải của riêng 1 quốc gia nào đâu đúng ko? :D
"These difficulties" vì đoạn trước đó bạn nêu ra 2 tác hại/khó khăn/thách thức, thì mình nghĩ đoạn solution nên dùng "these difficulties" sẽ có tính liên kết giữa các đoạn hơn :)
Cám ơn bạn rất nhiều vì ý kiến với rồi :) Mình kém quá
Còn vấn đề could và can mình không hiểu cách phân biệt . Người ta bảo trong văn viết dùng " COULD " là trang trọng hơn . ^_^
mi đã coi lại về cái "could" và "can" thì mình ko thấy cái nào ghi could thì trang trọng hơn bạn ạ :D
Cám ơn bạn nhé :)

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