The birth rates

Question

Mọi người giúp em với ạ. em cảm ơn nhiều ạ <3

( em cố gắng chèn ảnh mà k chèn được, nếu mọi người chữa giúp em thì xem cấu trúc chấm là được ạ <3 )

A glance at the graph provided reveals the differences in the figures of the birth rates from 1920 to 2000 in 2 selected countries: China and USA.

As far as the Birth rates of China is concerned, it experienced a marginal decline to 5 percent from 1920 to 1940. This was followed by a stability in 5 years. the following 5 years saw a drastic escalation to 20 percent. A sharp plunge trend to about 3 percent was recorded from 1950 to 2000.

With regards to the amount of the birth rate of USA, it began at around 12 percent. The following 20 years saw a fluctuation and then it witnessed a sharp decline to 4 percent in 1945. Inspite of a drastic plunge, a marginal escalation to 15 percent was recorded inn 5 years. Apart from the upward trend, it underwent dramatic decline from 1950 to 2000.

It is interesting to note that while the birth rates of both countries were comparable until 1950, and the trend of the figure is similar, the gap between the two widened after this time. 

Answer 1

1. You wrote: ...figures of the birth rates from 1920 to 2000 in 2 selected countries: China and USA. As ...

Feedback: Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.

Error type: Semantics

Suggestion: 2000 in 2 (1.29 m²), 2000 in 2 (1.29 square meters), 2000 in 2 (0.01 a), 2000 in 2 (ca. 12,903 cm²), 2000 in 2 (12,903.2 cm²), 2000 in 2 (ca. 12,903 square centimeters), 2000 in 2 (12,903.2 square centimeters)

 

2. You wrote: ...es: China and USA. As far as the Birth rates of China is concerned, it experienced a...

Feedback: Your subject (the Birth rates) is plural, but you have used a verb conjugated for a singular subject. Use a singular subject or a plural verb: "" or "the Birth rates are".

Error type: Verb agreement error

Suggestion: , the Birth rates are

 

3. You wrote: ...was followed by a stability in 5 years. the following 5 years saw a drastic escalat...

Feedback: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter

Error type: Capitalization

Suggestion: The

 

4. You wrote: ...scalation to 20 percent. A sharp plunge trend to about 3 percent was recorded from 19...

Feedback: Make sure that your verb is conjugated for your third person singular subject "A sharp plunge". Did you mean "A sharp plunge trends"? (va71)

Error type: Verb agreement error

Suggestion: A sharp plunge trends

 

5. You wrote: ...ercent was recorded from 1950 to 2000. With regards to the amount of the birth rate of USA, it...

Feedback: Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".

Error type: Non-standard phrase error

Suggestion: In regard to, With regard to, Regarding

 

6. You wrote: ...d a sharp decline to 4 percent in 1945. Inspite of a drastic plunge, a marginal escalat...

Feedback: Possible spelling mistake found

Error type: Possible Typo

Suggestion: Inspire, In spite

 

Answer 2

from 1920 to 2000 in 2 selected countries: China and USA. -> tớ có ý kiến chút là k nên viết ntn nhé
trong quá trình viết câu mở đầu nếu ng viết muốn liệt kê tên gọi của các giá trị thì có thể sử dụng (namely: A,B,C and D) hoặc (A,B,C and D)