Đoạn writing sáng 10/10- How to make a good impression on your teacher?

Question

People wil remember your first impression in your heart. When you go to school, you can make a good impression on your teacher very quickly and easily, right? I'm going to give some tips how to make a good impression. First, you should be polite to your teachers. Dressing uniform, a white shirt ans a pants is the best choice. Try to smile as often as possible so that you are friendly and kind person. Don't keep angry face to them, if you don't hear their question clearly, you can ask them to repeat. You should be say "please", "thank you". Second, you must be have possitive attitude in class. When they're talking or explaining the lesson, you should be pay attention to them and listen with your eye contacts, always complete your homework before you go to school. In class, you should be actively participate. Last, don't have bad manner. Espeacilly, don't using mobile phone and sleeping in class. In fact, sometimes, you can use your cell phone to take a photo concern the lecture but if you abuse it, you can make your teacher angry. All in all, i suggest you that you should be polite, friendly, smile frequently and pay attention to your teacher.

Answer 1

People wil remember your first impression in your heart (clarification needed). When you go to school, you can make a good impression on your teacher very quickly and easily, right? (should not make a question) I'm going to give some tips (about) how to make a good impression. First(ly), you should be polite to your teachers. Dress(ing) (in) uniform, a white shirt ans (and) a pants is the best choice. Try to smile as often as possible (so that) to show  that you are (a) friendly and kind person. Don't keep angry face to(wards) them, if you don't hear their question clearly, you can ask them to repeat. You should be say "please", (and) "thank you". Second(ly), you must be have possitive attitude in class. When they're (they should be replaced with teachers) talking or explaining the lesson, you should be pay attention to them (and listen with your eye contacts), listen and make eye contact; always complete your homework before you go to school. In class, you should be actively participate ( it is "anticipate actively). Last(ly), don't have bad manner. Espeacilly (Especially), don't using (use) mobile phone and sleeping (sleep) in class. In fact, sometimes, you can use your cell phone to take a photo concern(ing) the lecture but if you abuse ("overuse" is more appropriate) it, you can make your teacher angry. All in all (i would prefer "on the whole", i suggest you that you should be polite, friendly ("and" not ",") smile frequently.  ("pay attention to your teacher" is repeated to much in the paragraph)

Overall, as can be seen, you made A LOT OF grammartical mistakes. The idea for me is average. However, you vocabulary range is quite OK. Additionally, your sentence are pretty much disorganized.

Hope my comment works!

Comments

cảm ơn bạn nhiều nha. Thật ra, kiến thức ngữ pháp mình k vững, mình sẽ cố gắng cải thiện nè!

Love u <3

Answer 2

People will remember your first impression in your heart. When you go to school, you can make a good impression on your teacher very quickly and easily, right? I'm going to give you some tips on how to make a good impression. First, you should be polite to your teachers. Dressing uniform, a white shirt and a pants are the best choices. Try to smile as often as possible so that people will thik that you are a friendly and kind person. Don't keep angry face to them, if you don't hear their question clearly, you can ask them to repeat. You should be say "please", "thank you". Second, you must be have positive attitude in class. When they're (who?) talking or explaining the lesson, you should be paying attention to them and listen with your eye contacts, always complete your homework before you go to school. In class, you should be actively participating. Last, don't have a bad manner. Especially, don't using use mobile phones and sleeping in class. In fact, sometimes, you can use your cell phone to take a photo concerning the lecture but if you abuse it, you can make your teacher angry. All in all, i suggest you that you should be polite, friendly, smile frequently and pay attention to your teacher.

Nhận xét tí ^^:   Mình thấy bạn chưa nắm rõ quy tắc khi nào dùng to-V, khi nào dùng V-ing. Bạn nên học lại nhé, đây là phần cơ bản nhưng cũng quan trọng lắm đấy.

Comments

cảm ơn bạn nhiều nha. Thật ra, kiến thức ngữ pháp mình k vững, mình sẽ cố gắng cải thiện nè!

Love u <3