It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Some people argue that it is important for children to study folk history rather than world history. I disagree with this view, because I think that both of them have equally significant value to help children develop their knowledge in historic domain.

On the one hand, studying local history would help pupils know more about cultural tradition of their own countries. This will also provide an opportunity to advertise their image and resident to international friends, thereby attracting a lot of tourists to visit and explore. This also promotes development of tourism, creates more jobs for civilian, and contributes to government budgets. For instance, in international letter-writing competition for young people. Understanding national history can help Vietnamese pupils introduce to international friends about the anti-invader tradition from a thousand year ago, with many heroes and historical relics associated with it such as battle of Bach Dang river, Dien Bien Phu in the air or Cu Chi tunnels. This contributes to advertise the image of Vietnam in the eyes of international friends.

      On the other hand, learning world history would help students gain deeply more about outside world, traditions and customs of different countries. This give a beneficial condition for interchange and cultural exchange with international friends; therefore, people could be closer and easier to integrate. For example, currently, many universities have cultural exchange curriculums between other nations, so understanding history, culture, and people could help student approach and adapt easily to new environment.

      In conclusion, it seems to me that teaching domestic and international history together could fully equip for student all knowledge that help them in the long run.   

 

Answer 1

Soure: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_-History.docx

Some people argue that it is important for children to study folk history [NN1] rather than world history. I disagree with this view, because I think that both of them have equally significant value to [NN2] help children develop[NN3]  their knowledge in historic domain.

On the one hand, studying local history would help pupils know more about cultural tradition of their own countries. This will also provide an opportunity to advertise their[NN4]  image and resident to international friends, thereby attracting a lot of tourists to visit and explore. This also promotes development of tourism, creates more jobs for civilian[NN5] , and contributes to government budgets. For instance, in international letter-writing competition for young people.[NN6]  Understanding national history can help Vietnamese pupils introduce to international friends about the anti-invader tradition [NN7] from a thousand year [NN8] ago, with many heroes and historical relics associated with it such as battle of[NN9]  Bach Dang river, Dien Bien Phu in the air or Cu Chi tunnels. This contributes to advertise [NN10] the image of Vietnam in the eyes of international friends.

On the other hand, learning world history would help students gain deeply more about [NN11] outside world, traditions and customs of different countries. This give a beneficial condition for [NN12] interchange and cultural exchange with international friends; therefore, people could be closer and easier to integrate. For example, currently, many universities have cultural exchange curriculums between other nations, so understanding history, culture, and people could help student[NN13]  approach and adapt easily to new environment.

In conclusion, it seems to me that teaching domestic and international history together could fully equip for student [NN14] all knowledge that help them in the long run. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 270 words

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 [NN1]Inappropriate vocabulary: national/local history

 [NN2]Idea suggestion: they share an equal inportance

 [NN3]Inappropriate vocabulary: enhance/ improve

 [NN4]Inappropriate vocabulary: their countries’ image

 [NN5]Inappropriate vocabulary: citizens

 [NN6]Grammar error: “,” instead of “.”

 [NN7]Idea suggestion: the progress of maintaining the sovereignty of our country against invaders

 [NN8]Grammar error: 1000 years

 [NN9]Lack of article: the battle in

 [NN10]Grammar error: advertising

 [NN11]Vocabulary suggestion: have an insight into other region cultures

 [NN12]Inappropriate vocabulary: it is actually beneficial for

 [NN13]Grammar error: students

 [NN14]Grammar error: equip students with better knowledge for their future career

 

Comments

Dear Tr.g;

I have found on internet, they used phrase of word "folk history". Please refer the link as the below and give me some advice. Thanks!

http://www.upenn.edu/pennpress/book/708.html

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Dear vulong79,

I have searched on the Internet but there is actually no definition about this phrase

I’m not sure but in my opinion, “folk history” is just something which were passed down orally through thousands of century without any evidences such as “Trong Thủy- Mị Châu” and it isn’t similar to “local history.”

Btw, thank you for your question

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Dear Tr.g;

Yes. Folk history is unappropriate word to talk about national history. I have read some source of informations, then I finally recognized that folk history is a fairy tale or a legend as you said “Mi Chäu Trong Thuy”. Thank for your advice!