TASK 2 NGAY 30-7 -IDP VUNG TAU- HISTORY

Question

 

learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that we are living in a current era where the value of the past is no benefit. From my perspective, this view is totally negative because of several reasons.

Firstly, it is obvious that by studying history, people could learn about humanity and how to maintain world peace. From learning about wars and horrifying events we know about the cruelty of conflicts and the serious damage in terms of material and spiritual aspects caused by the wars. A lot of soldiers and innocent civilians became victims, sacrifice for peace and there are some areas damaged permanently due to the wars such as Hiroshima and Nagasaki. All the lost lives and the pain will last forever from generation to generation. therefore, valuable lessons based on historical events of our ancestors will help us develop a sense of patriotism and protect world peace.

Secondly, all of the knowledge we have today is a result of the work of our predecessors. thanks to past inventions, we can make many scientific discoveries that change our lives. To illustrate my view, the ancient Greeks developed geometry which helped modern European scientists analyze the solar system, which gives us a new understanding of the universe. The great majority of technological advancement depends on the past inventions so ignoring the knowledge of the past means throwing away thousands of years of experiencing.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that history plays an immense part in the human revolution and it should be a critical part of our education.

 

Answer 1

Some people believe that we are living in a current era [p1] where the value of the past is no benefit[p2] . From my perspective, this view is totally negative [p3] because of several reasons.

Firstly, it is obvious that by studying history, people could learn about humanity and how to maintain world peace. From learning about wars and horrifying events we know about the cruelty of conflicts and the serious damage in terms of material and spiritual aspects caused by the wars. In fact, A lot of soldiers and innocent civilians became victims[p4] , who sacrificed for peace and there are some areas damaged permanently due to the nuclear wars such as Hiroshima and Nagasaki. All the lost lives and the pain will last forever from generation to generation[p5] . Therefore, valuable lessons based on historical events of our ancestors will help us develop a sense of patriotism and protect world peace[p6] .

Secondly, all of the knowledge we have today is a result of the work of our predecessors. Thanks to past inventions, we can make many scientific discoveries that change our lives. To illustrate my view, the ancient Greeks developed geometry which helped modern European scientists analyze the solar system, which gives us a new understanding of the universe. As a result, The great majority of technological advancement depends on the past inventions so ignoring the knowledge of the past means throwing away thousands of years of experiencing.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that history plays an immense part [p7] in the human revolution and it should be a critical part of our education.

 

 

Comments

 [p1]Redundant Language!

“in an era” provide enough meaning

 [p2]Idea Suggestion: “value of the past offers us no benefit”

 [p3]Vocabulary Error: “negative” could not be used to present this meaning

Reference: “this view is wrong because of several reasons”

 [p4]Idea Suggestion: To not cause error à “a lot of soldiers and innocent civilians, who sacrificed for peace, became victims”

 [p5]Redundant Language!
 Adding too many sentences as possible may cause the lack of coherence

 [p6]Idea Suggestion: “sense of patriotism” à “better world”

Reference: “…patriotism and better world” 

Try not to write a different structure

 [p7]Vocabulary Error: “immensely-important part” à Correct

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