IELTS Task 2 29/04 In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Question

Nowadays, in many countries, urban citizens have tendency to stay single or in nuclear families, instead of living in extended family groups. Personally, I completely argue that this trend would bring negative influences on society.

Firstly, small family units mean less of family support in many situations and in some case, it can have some effect on young generations. Today, both of parents have occupations which leads to lack of childcare and parents have to look for babysitters or nannies instead of counting on grandparents. Nuclear families or single lifestyle suggest that friends, media and Internet become main influencer on behaviour especially on children. If youngster don’t have enough intimacy with other family members, it is likely linked to juvenile delinquency.

Furthermore, with the fact that less and less human interaction may cause psychological effects. The side effect of this lifestyle is that it is difficult to find someone to share problems and confide. It leads to over-using of TV, Internet and discourage real interaction. In the long term, people tend to have feeling of isolation from society and perhaps cause the increasing in depression or even suicide. This can be seen from Japanese case where more and more people choose and have to stay alone and separate from ralatives and society that made Japan become one of the highest suicide rate countries in the world.

In conclusion, while many people would likely prefer live alone or in nuclear families, I believe that this trend may bring more deleterious effects in not only family but also society.

Answer 1

some effect ->some  effects

look for-> look after(chăm sóc)

main influecer-> main ìnluences (mình nghĩ vậy)

discourage-> discourages 

the increasing-> an increase

effects in-> effects on

 

bạn viết nội dung cũng ổn rồi nhưng gặp vấn đề về câu cú và ngũ pháp bạn ạ, có 1 số câu còn sai ngũ pháp or không rõ nghĩa bạn nên đọc kỹ lại r gửi lên nhóm nhé. Cố lên 

Answer 2

It's fairly cool but I personally believe that you should consider your word choice more fastidiously.