Đề IELTS thi ngày 06/09/2014 - Task 2: As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems.... [closed]

Question

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Còn đây là task 2 tuần này - 06/09/2014:

As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems. What are problems for young people who are living in the cities as the result of continued growth? How problems might be solved?

 

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Answer 1

Many young people living in the growing cities are said to have more opportunity to develop and fulfill their personalities. Contrast to this belief, they are facing many problems and to solve these problems, young people need the help from not only their families but also from the society.

 

Young people in growing cities are having trouble in terms of social skills and nature appreciation. First, as many young people living in major cities have advantage to get access to the latest modern technology, they spend too much time with those technologies and forget about hanging around with real friends and having read conversations. It is a common scene now when one walks into a coffee shop and sees youngsters sitting next to each other keep looking at their smartphones or taking photos of the food in stead of talking. Second, many young people living in big cities may stand a better chance of having better education, but at the same time they are digressing further and further from nature. In developing cities, people are surrounded with high concrete buildings, not with giant trees with large shades. Young people have got used to these scenes and thus, they do not know how to appreciate nature. If young people now cannot love nature, it is hard to assure that the next generation will protect the environment better than we do today.

 

In my opinion, these problems can be solved by two solutions: raising awareness and applying practical methods. First, raising awareness is of most important, as awareness is the root of actions. To exemplify, parents should use certain measures and talk to their children about how to use modern technology properly. If children understand how detrimental technology can become when being overused, they will learn to use it wisely. Thus, when growing up, these young citizens will help protect the green life. Second, practical applications will help the young people more active in dealing with their problems. Parents and societies should spend time on guiding young people since they are little kids. Activities such as planning trees, teaching children how to take care of small plants in their houses are good to develop children’s love for nature.

 

In conclusion, with the sharp growth of cities in the world, young people living there are having both advantages and disadvantages. With the two most common problems are social skills and environmental awareness, raising awareness as well as having practical applications since young citizens are merely kids are two measures I believe will have positive effects.

Comments

despite good ideas, I think ur essay is too long!

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Your essay is over 400 words, which is unnecessarily long. You may want to remove 1 or 2 points in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph.

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I think there was a messy structure in conclusion. you should look at at the bottom.

Answer 2

     The world has witnessed a great deal of notable progress of its leading city. Yet, along with the development, there exists many issues, especially for young people in the cities who are straightforwardly affected by rapid growth.

 

      First of all, it is undeniable that the extended growth is responsible for the increasing social evils among the youngsters. Thousands of people everywhere migrate to expanded cities in search of better work. As a result, the rising population brings about unemployment and other social issues. Moreover,  the rapid development also creates odd recreations tempting and attracting the younger. They are still not mature enough to decide whether the matter is positive or not. Finally, they wallow in the addictive pleasures and social evils.

 

       Further and even more importantly, though, the development makes a chance for young people to approach technological and scientific breakthroughs, it makes them pursue the new without having a look back the old and cultural values. The younger do not have firm society foundation and knowledge of history so that they can not keep culture exist. One day, the worth will be on the brink of being fell into oblivion.

 

        The important is these issues might be solved by the tight management of government and the corporation among community. The government can create work for the unemployment as well as enact policy of cultural and social education. The precious values need conserving and restoring for the youngsters to explore and study. Also, history need teaching deeply and vividly in the schools.

 

 

         To sum up,the growth is the positive side but people should know how to dominate it. The development under control benefits human while the other way around brings about the evil problems.

Comments

Very good essay!

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- especially for young people in the cities who are straightforwardly (directly) affected by rapid growth.
- Further and even more importantly (just more importantly is enough), though, the development makes (creates) a chance for young ....
- it makes them pursue the new without having a look back the old and cultural values. Suggest changing: the young might be lured into these new things and gradually lose the traditional values.
- Paragraph 2: I was confused while reading this paragraph because it makes me think that "people are unemployment which creates the problems for young people". I think your point here is " unemployment creates social evils, therefore, social evils affect young people". You should reorganize the paragraph a little bit to make your point clearer.
Regards,
Duong NGUYEN

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thank you!I I will check my essay. Hope that you will continue commenting my next essay. It is really useful for me. thanks, again!

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LOL! Thanks for contributing such a good essay to the website! Together build up this page.... ;D

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yeah, that's the spirit ! \m/

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I have to check my dictionary to read your essay!
Poor me! :_)

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sometimes I also have to look up dictionary when i read someone's essay. it is ok. :)

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Your essay has a very precise word use. I also like the idea of the 3rd paragraph, which I will copy into my essay if I have a chance :>

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I like the the way you used such academic words and phrases. I can learn much from it

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thank you. :)

Answer 3

The fast growth of metropolis brings some drawbacks to everyone, especially to the younger generation. Their problems are lacking places for physical development and opportunities to obtain social skills but can be alleviated by the collaboration of local governments, school and parents.

 

It is difficult to argue that the continued growth of cities has negatively impacted children physical development. In the past, there was free land for children to play games. This is no longer the case. Nowadays, more skyscrapers are building to catch the booming population in cities. As a result, children stay at home and play computer games instead of doing physical exercises. While it is easy to find a fast-food restaurant, which makes obesity becoming more serious, it is difficult to see a sport center in urban areas.

 

Another issue is that young people in cities may suffer isolation. As is widely known, more and more parents in cities have only a child due to the increasing cost of living. Unfortunately, children, without siblings, lack opportunities to develop their human sentimental life. Both father and mother have to work as hard as others and often work overtime to keep a decent job and then they spend less quality family time with their children.

 

In order to solve these problems, in other words, to help the Youngers to enjoy better their life, the effort of local authorities, teachers and parents can make a difference. Governments should provide more free sports complex, which is a key factor to motivate children to do more exercises. More importantly, a schedule at school with more time for physical exercises also helps to cope with these problems. Besides, parents should spend more time with their children or just let them to meet friend under the supervision.

Comments

- paragraph 2: the sentence "this is no longer the case" you use short form sentence and it seems to be overgeneralisation.  the last sentence can be shortened " it is easy to find a fast food restaurant, which makes obesity become more serious, rather than a sport center in urban area.
- paragraph 3 seems to be not relevant to social skills, you only mention  sentimental life. You can read Mai Trinh's essay to get more ideas for this issue.
- And I think you should add conclusion.

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The introduction and conclusion should be shorter, I think.

Answer 4

Many young people nowadays preferred to live in highly developed metropolis, which are expected to bring about great opportunities to earn more money and therefore have better lives. However, many of them, when merely looking at the bright side,  have ignored the fact that lives in developed areas are also the root of many problems that need to be taken care of, such as health issues, money dependent and lack of independent.

  First of all, living in industrialized cities, where dust and noise pollution are serious problems, often cause bad effect to human health. Glance at the street of Hanoi, capital and one of the biggest cities in Vietnam, we can always see people riding motorbikes that look alike ninjas in Japan, with eyes, nose, head, arms,… barely any part of their bodies are left uncovered. Moreover, comparing the ratios of young people who have problems with their eyes, it is obvious to say what the answer is after visiting a school or a university, where it is even harder to find a guy who has fresh eyes than counting stars in the sky.

Secondly, while people live in suburban areas are able to grow many things to support their own lives, the situation is often opposed in cities, when almost everything eatable is imported from outside. Young people there don’t grow food, instead they grow money. Only with money can they make ends meet and have an enjoyable live. This has unfortunately raised the dependence in money among people in growth areas, and when there is no money left, the world is also collapsed.

Last but not least, as a result of money dependency, young people who are living in big cities now often have to face the problem of lacking independence. While children in the countryside are taught how to do things from an early stage, boys and girls in big cities are not allowed to do anything, in case they might hurt themselves. As a result, when they grow up, cities’ teenagers don’t know how to do simple things to support their own lives, which proves to be a serious problem in case they have to be on their own solving things.

Generally speaking, in order to solve problems caused by fast-paced growth is the responsibility of both families and government. Parents should educate children in a way that help them less depend on money and technology, whereas government can consider developing their cities in a more sustainable way, not only focus on economic development but also emphasize on bringing a good environment for youth generation to develop.

Comments

1)Money <dependent>, Lack of <independent>  => independence
2)the root of many problems that need to be <taken care of>  => tackled or solved.
3) You give an example about problem of children's eyes health  but I think it's not persuasive because how you can realize the young having fresh eyes easily. If they are near-sighted, that's the problem of education not just the polluted environment.
4) I don't understand your third paragraph. The society has distribute everyone responsibility. In cities, service is more popular than in suburban areas so people there don't concentrate on growing vegetable or manufacturing.
paragraph
5) It's better to have a short conclusion.
6) Your total number of words is 431....It's too long and you can't complete in real test (I have the same mistake with you...we need to discuss to improve this) :_)

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i think your ideas are not clear and you have some mistakes like overgenelasation. for example," it is obvious to say what the answer is after visiting a school or a university, where it is even harder to find a guy who has fresh eyes than counting stars in the sky." Is it precise?
Paragraph 3: i think the third paragraph is not clear enough

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Some sentences are too informal, for example "Glance at the street of Hanoi, capital and one of the biggest cities in Vietnam, we can always see people riding motorbikes that look alike ninjas in Japan, with eyes, nose, head, arms,… barely any part of their bodies are left uncovered." It should not appear in an IELTS essay.

Answer 5

 

Along with the advantages of continued growth in big cities, some drawbacks have been gradually affecting everyone, especially our future generation-young people. To tackle this problem, society, school as well as family are playing an important role to help the young overcome challenges when living in leading cities.

Youngsters in growing cities are taking risks when improving their social skills, health and evironment awareness.

Apparently, youngsters leap at opportunities to get access to the latest technology in such a modern environment of a big city. However, instead of hanging around with their friends to relax and communicate, they simply use smart phones, tablets or computers to play  games and chat through social network. Thus, this overusing can make them feel addicted and concretely be deviated from daily face-to-face conversations. In long run, such young peole become difficult to make friends and can not be enter a negotiation when interviewing or working. Youngsters’ social skill will be lowered significantly due to unawareness of extended development in cities.

Fastfood restaurants have been lauching many branches in growing cities to spread their market and accidentally pose a problem in youngsters’ health. The busy works of parents lead them to save time by buying fastfood which is convienient but high fast for their children. As a result, the obesity rate in children have constantly increased.

For many years, the tree- line avenues have been replaced by skycrafters or no-go areas for the poor strewing down with litter. The overpopulation and pollution in big city has been happening in front of young people’s eyes everyday so how to ensure that they can protect the environment better than we do now.

In order to releive the consequences of above disavantages, family is the key factor to help young people extricate negative effects. Parents can spend time on relating to their childern as friends so as to understand what they want and intruct them to use smart devices or internet in the right ways. Besides, mother and father may encourage the young to protect around environment by joining with them to grow tree or separate rubbish. Moreover, social activities and sport events organizing by schools or local authorities would be good changes for youngsters to improve their behaviour and get healthy.

To sum up, the living condition in leading cities has pros and cons. Our younster could really be better than us today depending on how we take actions to balance between growth and stability.

 

(P/S: My essay extends the necessary number of words, How can I conqer it??!!! :(((( )

 

 

 

Comments

Andyduong: Thank you very much! Your comment 's very helpful for me. :P

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Leha: :)) Your comment encourage me a lot <3... I will try to limit my crazy idea

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thaibeou: That's very kind of you to let me know my weakness. Thks! <3

Answer 6

There is currently increasing attention paid to the changes that arise from the growth of major cities. While taking a huge of advantages from this rapid development, the young faces the threats as well. However, I believe this problem can be handled by adopting several solutions, as will now be discussed.

The rising tide of immigrants from other ares have caused many potential consequences for young people through many years. The growth of major city brings more job opportunities to habitants and attracts well-training people. This makes labor market becomes more competitive and thus young people find it dificult to have a job due to lack of experience. Besides, the overcrowding in entire megacities also leads to high cost and high stressed for young people ‘s life. As in case in Hochiminh city, comuters who are young often suffer the nightmare called traffic jams roughly. As a consequence, they feel too tired after a long times waiting on congested streets and cost a great deal of time and fuel. Another worth noticing point that young people is on the first stage of career path on and hence  confront financial pressure due to low incomes.

As a matter of fact, government has imposed a various handouts to resolve this dilemma but it has proved to be less effectively in recent years. In my view, there is essential measures must be taken immmediatly. Firstly, the government should encourage business relocation to the countryside by supporting tax and land use rights. This will reduce the population density in the inner city and improve the life enviroment for the young there. In other words, the shifting workforce from urban to surburban can beneficial to young people by cut the cost and raise the quality of life. Secondly, the bank should offer a loan with a low interes rate for the young. By this way, young people can have enough money to study higher education or carry on a business.

In conclusion, the lack of experience and the financial pressure is two prime problems for young people in major cities. It can be tackled properly  by using mentioned solutions.

Comments

Hello  Casileroi , thank you for your contribution. In general, this is a good essay, it addresses the main problems and provides the solutions, just some of the grammatical mistakes:
- While taking a huge of advantages from this rapid development, the young faces the threats as well. ----> Change: ......While there are a huge of advantages from the rapid development, there are some of the issues threatening lives and developments of the young people.
- The rising tide of immigrants from other ares have caused many potential consequences for young people through many years.----> unintended consequences
- due to lack of experience.--->due to the lack of..
- also leads to high cost and high stressed for young people ‘s life. ---> high living-costs and high level of stress for young people.
- Another worth noticing point that young people is on the first stage of career path on and hence  confront financial pressure due to low incomes. ---> this sentence should not be put at the end of the paragraph, and the "financial pressure" you mentioned is not necessary because you already mentioned it on the top that "high-living costs".
- As a matter of fact, government has imposed a various handouts to resolve this dilemma but it has proved to be less effectively in recent years. In my view, there is essential measures must be taken immmediatly. -------> 1. Dilemma is used for "ethics case", not this case. Suggest changing: issues.
 Just some of my suggestions, hope this will help!

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I thank andyduong for your useful feedbacks, i hope i will get more complaints next times :)

Answer 7

It has been easy to see some significant developments in many cities worldwide in recent years. However, these have brought about not only opportunities but also numerous challenges for the young generation. Hence, it is pivotal for the youth to find out what issues they would confront as well as ways to deal with them.

There are some noticeable problems to the young people as a result of a fast-paced progression of the society. Firstly, the road for getting a job is likely to become tougher and severer. Most companies nowadays tend to conduct stricter recruitment and selection process to seek candidates who can both meet technical requirements and adapt with changes. Consequently, despite being knowledgeable in some fields, many youngsters are not employed owing to lack of adaptability such as learning or using a new technology. Another matter is down to cultural integration, which might trigger confusions for the young people when a large number of new cultures enter their countries.

It is obvious that grows in cities would lead to some significant problems for the young, however, these issues are not insurmountable. Regarding recruitment difficulties, the most feasible remedy is that the youth has to be more immensely active in learning. They should be desire to gain the new knowledge, and continuously improve their skills though attending classes or self-studying. Besides, in terms of cultural issues, the young should be wisely select and comprehend quintessence of the new cultures. Also, the responsibility should fall to the families and schools to provide their children with right orientation and enormous support.

In conclusion, the youngster currently might cope with job seeking and new cultural adaptation problems. The most effective ways for them to overcome is incessantly cultivating their skills and knowledge and being judicious in absorbing a culture.

Answer 8

'Cities of steroids' is a terminological phrase some economists alluding to megacities. Literally, megacities are born and are enlarging ceaselessly, which brings about some urgent problems for young adults in finding a job and dealing with social problems.

Metropolis is an appealing open environment for knowledge officers as well as labourers due to the rapid growth of globalization. As the result, the migration era of an enormous qualified labour sources leads to the massive stern of organizations in recruitment. This unavoidable change put young people in converge between unemployment and having an unsatisfied job. Therefore, to compete with other rival candidates to get a job, fostering and mastering your soft skills such as team-working, information technology, presenting and so on is extremely essential. What many firms need is not only your speciality but also your adaptation depending on differently individual working environment. Aware of how to achieve their demands is the key of your success.

The development of metropolis also results in the unstoppable increase of social problems because of expanding the gap between the rich and the poor. Criminals easily target young adult who is deficient of social knowledge to seduce and deceive. Moreover, the youth has a tendency of being attractive with brand-new things, which is grasped by beguiler. On the other side, another constituent of young people in their adolescence has many problems with their unstable emotion and uncontrollable actions. They do not mature enough to fully acknowledge of their responsibilities and the consequences of their acts. Therefore, families and schools need to generalize the social knowledge adequately to adolescents. Living environment can leave a significant impact on the young adults’s mentalities in their puberty, by which their actions are indirectly shown.

In conclusion, adolescents should be conscious of the metropolis’s negative sides to diminish and avoid entirely.