ielts task 1 birth rates in China and the USA

Question

The graph illustrates the birth rates of China and the USA from 1920 to 2000. 

As can be seen, China’s birth rate increased from 10% in 1920 to 15% in 1935. Then, the figure go down 5% in 1940 and it remain steady over the next year. After that, it rose sharply to reach a peak of 20% in 1950. However, a haft of decades later, the birth rate of China fell suddenly to 10 % in 1965. Then, it falling to about 2% in 2000. 

Over the same time, USA had similar the birth rate of 12% to that of China in 1920. In the next years, the birth rate fell sharply to below 5% . Then, it rose suddenly to reach the highest point of 15% during 80 year period . In contrast, the figure go down significantly to 7% in next years.

Overall, the birth rate of USA is higher than China’s birth rate especially after 1950 but the birth rate of both countries followed a similar trend.

 

Answer 1

The graph illustrates the birth rates of China and the USA from 1920 to 2000. 

[W1]

As can be seen, China’s birth rate increased from 10% in 1920 to 15% in 1935. Then[W2] , the figure go[W3]  down 5% in 1940 and it remain[W4]  steady over the next year[W5] . After that, it rose sharply to reach a peak of 20% in 1950. However, a haft[W6]  of decades later, the birth rate of China fell suddenly to 10 % in 1965. Then[W7] , it falling[W8]  to about 2% in 2000. 

Over the same time, USA had similar the birth rate of 12%[W9]  to that of China in 1920[W10] . In the next years[W11] , the birth rate fell sharply to below 5% . Then[W12] , it rose suddenly to reach the highest point of 15% during 80 year period . In contrast[W13] , the figure go[W14]  down significantly to 7% in next years[W15] .

Overall, the birth rate of USA is[W16]  higher than China’s birth rate especially after 1950 but the birth rate of both countries followed a similar trend.

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 [W1]Expression suggestion: after paraphase the question statement, you should add OVERVIEW ( SIMON- TASK 1 STRUCTURE)

 [W2]Grammar error: in task 1 we do not use this ‘word’

 [W3]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ went

 [W4]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ remained’

 [W5]Expression error:  ‘’ over the next five years’’

 [W6]Spelling error: half

 [W7]Grammar error: in task 1 we do not use this ‘word’

 [W8]Grammar error: it fell to …

Falling  subject + tobe +Ving

 [W9]Expression error: 10% # 12%, you can not use ‘’had similar the birth rate.

 [W10]Expression suggestion: the USA had similar figure compared with China in term of birth rate.

 [W11]Expression suggestion: ‘’ in the next five years.

 [W12]Grammar error: in task 1 we do not use this ‘word’

 [W13]Expression suggestion: ‘ in contrast’’ just use when you compare with another subject.

 [W14]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ went

 [W15]Expression suggestion: ‘’ in the next five years.

 [W16]Grammar error: use the simple present, corrected ‘ was’

 

Answer 2

 

As can be seen=> Ít dùng vì nó mang nghĩa nhận xét từ người viết, mình được dạy là dùng It is clear that..

Then, the figure of Chinese live birth went down to 5% in 1940 , and then fell steadily over the next five year. After that, it rose sharply to reach a peak of 20% in 1950. However, a haft of decades later, the fertility rate of China fell suddenly to 10 % in 1965. Then, it dropped to about 2% in 2000. 

Over the period given, .. In the following five years, the birth rate of the USA fell sharply to reach its nadir, at 5% , then rising suddenly to reach its peak, at 15%  over the period of 80 years . In contrast, the figure of new born children in the USA  went down significantly to 7% in the third quater.

Overall, the fertility rate of USA is higher than China’s live birth rate, especially after ...