People should follow the customs and traditions in the host country when starting a new life. Agree or disagree?

Question

Globalization is a tendency which the citizens work and live in other countries. Hence, the living environment also changes as the different culture, society, awareness, religion and so on. To adapt in the new conditions, people should keep their attitude catching up the customs and traditions of host country.

Actually, the newcomers will get in trouble if they are out of the local rules and customs. For example, when KFC runs their business in Islam country, it is serious mistake if they put pork in sandwich and hamburger owing to taboo in Islam. Furthermore, some actions are not permitted or illegal and will make local resident angry. Each of countries has their certain rules and regulations that require people to implement. Breaking the rules contributing the crime should avoid with new residents. With unacceptable behaviors, not only they suffer from the punishments but also losing their imagine in the eye’s local people.

It is not deny that the important following the customs and code of conduct for new comers is beneficial. Local residents will welcome for whom understand the regional practices. Therefore, the life is more comfortable because of integration that is easier to enhance the relationships. Additionally, creating the chances to gain the richness of the experience enable them to participate in community life and avoid social isolation.

To conclude, following the traditions and habits of locals in host country brings the advantages to accommodate to the new environment.

Answer 1

Đầu tiên hình như bạn hơi bị lạc đề. Trước nhất bạn phải nói bạn phải paraphr lại đề bài và nói rằng bạn có đồng ý hay không. Với bài của bạn mình có cảm giác nó như một bài nói về Globalization ấy .... 

Câu đầu tiên, mệnh đề quan hệ của bạn bị dùng sai.. 

Globalization is a tendency which the citizens work and live in other countries.

Thay vì catch up ( bắt kịp ) với truyền thống và văn hóa mình nghĩ nên là get used to ( làm quen với)  và bỏ to adapt đi cũng được.

Cái action bạn nói trong bài viết nên nói rõ hơn là action ở nơi bạn lớn lên và nó không được chấp nhận ở nơi bạn mới đến. Như thế nó logic hơn mà mình nghĩ action -> behavior 

It's not deny ( câu này không ổn lắm về ngữ pháp )

 

 

Comments

Thank you ban nhe