My family 12-4-2017 tks

Question

There are four people in my family: my parents, my younger brother and me. Despite fewer members in my family, we still have enough quality time together.
They live in Bac Ninh city, which has Quan ho, one of List of World Heritage Sites. My family has moved Bac Ninh since 2006. Before, we lived in Yen Phong, where I had a memorable childhood.
My father is a soldier and my mother is a teacher. I am proud of my parents, although he usually went far when I was a child. Therefore, he had poor-quality time with me and I felt very sympathetic to him. On the contrast, my mother spent most of her life on taking care of her family. She raised me up. To me, she is the closest person in my family.
My father is 50 and my mother is 45. Their ages really are well-matched.
My father is tall and handsome. Moreover, he is generous and friendly. My mother is quite. However, she is a kind and helpful person
My younger brother is a secondary student. Actually, his studies are bad. He is a dull-witted student, especially Math, Literature or English. Maybe I must spend more my time on recommending him. However, I make sure that he is extroverted.
Also, he is a bachelor. In his free time, we often go to the movie.
I live far away from my family. I live in Ha Noi city, while my family lives in Bac Ninh city. Life far away from my family to me is very difficult. So far, I am used to life here.
However, I still miss my family very much.
I often visit my family/ once a month.
For me, the family becomes extremely crucially.

 

Answer 1

Mình sẽ chỉnh sửa những cái bên màu đỏ nha

" enough quality time together"    --> wonderful time

which has Quan ho-->where 

moved Bac Ninh-->moved to Bac Ninh

"Before, we lived in Yen Phong"-->before this time,.

" I am proud of my parents, although he usually went far when I was a child"--> ý bạn đang muốn nói gì, tại sao lại là he mà không phải They

"spent most of her life on taking care of"

"more my time on recommending"--> spend đi với "on" nhưng không phải trong ngữ cảnh này, thay vì vậy nên dùng "taking" "recommending" thôi, bỏ on đi nha

"My mother is quite. "--->quiet

"his studies are bad"   natives không dùng như này nhé, He studies too badly

"becomes extremely crucially"--> crucial thôi nha. 

Answer 2

cảm ơn rất nhiều, mình mới tập writing nên còn nhiều sai sót, may mà có bạn. Thực sự writing rất khó để tiến bộ vì phải có người sửa, không tự học được mong sẽ được giúp đỡ nhiều từ những người như bạn 

cảm ơn rất nhiều, mình mới tập writing nên còn nhiều sai sót, may mà có bạn. Thực sự writing rất khó để tiến bộ vì phải có người sửa, không tự học được mong sẽ được giúp đỡ nhiều từ những người như bạn cảm ơn rất nhiều, mình mới tập writing nên còn nhiều sai sót, may mà có bạn. Thực sự writing rất khó để tiến bộ vì phải có người sửa, không tự học được mong sẽ được giúp đỡ nhiều từ những người như bạn