TOEFL iBT - Writing task 2

Question

Title: Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place?        

         Some people desire to stay in one place for a long time or even for their whole life, meanwhile others prefer to move in search of various places to make their life better. From my perspective, moving to different places has more positive effects than staying in one place.

 

         The main reason for my propensity for choosing the option is that moving to new places means that provides new experience. Everytime you move to another place, you learn affairs from your neighbours’ culture and life style . For instance, I used to travel in Japan in two weeks with my family. I have accumulated several knowledge and experience. I implicitly admire their responsible manners, punctuality and polite behaviour. This experience would be useful and valuable in my life.

        The seacond reason why I advocate of moving to another place is that new opportunities. One of these opportunities is the chance of learning. For instance, by traveling to a new country we could learn their language, and then use it as a new skill for finding a decent job in other country. Your ability to speak different languages help you have a high position in your job. Furthermore, looking for a new place assists you in finding a suitable job and possibly in gaining promotion. Undoubtedly, working for a company in developed country will give you high salary and chance of discovering the professional style of working and having access to modern facilities.

 

          Therefore from what we have discussed, I may safely come to conclusion that moving to new accommodation instead of living in the same environment throughout my life owing. Personally, I believe that moving to different places assists us in having new experience, new opportunities and leading a more enjoyable and meaningful life.

Answer 1

Original writing	Suggested correction
Some people desire to stay in one place for a long time or even for their whole life, meanwhile others prefer to move in search of various places to make their life better. From my perspective, moving to different places has more positive effects than staying in one place.	Some people have a desire to stay in one place for a long time or even for their whole life, meanwhile others prefer to move to various places to make their lives better. From my perspective, moving to different places has more positive effects than staying in one place.
The main reason for my propensity for choosing the option is that moving to new places means that provides new experience. Everytime you move to another place, you learn affairs from your neighbours’ culture and life style . For instance, I used to travel in Japan in two weeks with my family. I have accumulated several knowledge and experience. I implicitly admire their responsible manners, punctuality and polite behaviour. This experience would be useful and valuable in my life.	The main reason for my propensity for choosing the option is that moving to new places means that provides acquiring new experiences. Every time you move to another place, you learn affairs from your neighbours’ culture and life style. For instance, I used to travelled to Japan for two weeks with my family. I have gained some knowledge and experiences. I have an implicit admiration for their responsible manner, punctuality and polite behaviour. This experience would be useful and valuable in my life.
The seacond reason why I advocate of moving to another place is that new opportunities. One of these opportunities is the chance of learning. For instance, by traveling to a new country we could learn their language, and then use it as a new skill for finding a decent job in other country. Your ability to speak different languages help you have a high position in your job. Furthermore, looking for a new place assists you in finding a suitable job and possibly in gaining promotion. Undoubtedly, working for a company in developed country will give you high salary and chance of discovering the professional style of working and having access to modern facilities.	The second reason why I advocate of moving to another place is that new opportunities. One of these opportunities is the chance of learning. For instance, traveling to a new country motivates the learning of its language, which is also helpful in finding a decent job in other countries. The ability to speak different languages is also an asset for getting professional promotion. Furthermore, looking for a new place may lead you to a suitable job and possibly promotion. Undoubtedly, working for a company in a developed country will give you high salary and the chance of discovering the professional working style and having access to modern facilities.
Therefore from what we have discussed, I may safely come to conclusion that moving to new accommodation instead of living in the same environment throughout my life owing. Personally, I believe that moving to different places assists us in having new experience, new opportunities and leading a more enjoyable and meaningful life.	Therefore, from what we have discussed, I may safely come to conclusion that moving to new locations is better than living in the same environment throughout my life owing. Personally, I believe that moving to different places assists us in having new experiences, new opportunities and leading a more enjoyable and meaningful life.