[mn góp ý hộ mình]universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace OR should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake

Question

In all countries, university education is one of the prior concerns. While many people think that universities should provide students with the knowledge and skills needed for their future career, other people believe that the main function of unviversities should be to give a chance to access all original knowledge whether it is useful or not for students' job. Personally, I advocate that students should be taught about practical knowlwege and soft skills that are necessary for their future employment.

Firstly, I believe that most students expect to study things related dictrecly to their job because before ertering into universities, students have determinated what they really want to become in their future. For example, a student who want to become a owner of a restaurant decide to go to university, and the knowledge and skills that he wants to study in this university should be the ways to treat with customers or how to operate successfully his restaurat, not the way to solve a hard calculating problem.

Secondly, being taught practical knowledge and skills related to future employment is extremely important for university graduates. It would be easier for students to get straight a job because they are able to rapidly adapt to the workplace environment. Moreover, recruiters do not need much time to retrain students who gained the knowledge and skills that are useful for the job they apply for.

For reasons mentioned above, i believe that the primary function of universities shoulb be to provide students with the practical knowledge and skills needed  instead of teaching them the original knowledge.

Answer 1

Mình có một số góp ý cho bạn ạ:

-others people believe that: mình nghĩ cái này nên sửa thành "other people" hoặc để "others" không thôi.

- should be give students a chance to -> "should give". Chắc chỗ này bạn vô tình nhầm thôi.

 - it is useful or not useful. nên bỏ useful đi, dùng "it is useful or not" thôi là đủ rồi. :)

- skilled related to future employment. Mình tưởng phải là "skills" chứ nhỉ.

Bài bạn dùng new words phong phú, viết cũng dễ hiểu, thỉnh thoảng có sai chính tả và lặp từ thôi chứ ideas và cách paraphrase tốt. 

Best regards :)

Comments

tks bạn, mình viết ra giấy rồi đánh lại nên có nhiều chỗ đánh nhầm! Mình thấy bài lặp từ khá nhiều nên bạn có thể góp ý các cụm khác để mình thay được không