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More and more people do not ride the bicycle as a model of transportation even though it has many benefits. Why? How to encourage people to use bicycles as a main transport?

In this day and age, a decreasing number of people use bicycles as a transport daily routine despite bikers can get some advantages from riding. I will highlight two reasons causing this tendency and give some methods to solve this problem.

First and foremost many people prefer using other transports such as cars, motorbikes and so on than pedalling bicycles because it always  takes much more time to travel by bicycles compared to other vehicles eventhough it has some benefits such as strengthen muscle or lose weight. For example, car or motor users just spend about 30 minutes on  a 10 kilometers distance instead can take double of time with the same distance by riding. what is more the security system of bicycles usually break easier than cars or motorbike, which can take a lot of time to destroy safe locks.
On the other hand,  to solve this issue there are two approaches which can attract more people using bicycles for transportation purposes based on questions arising . Fristly bike producers should invent bicycles which can operate with high speed to can satisfy people needs. In addition, they should design safe locks which have high-level security as alarm systems, so thieves can dare not touch any bicycles if they have intention stealing.

In conclusion, although using bicycle has some advantages to riders, it is quite difficult to replace other vehicles as a principal public transport if its speed and security can not change.
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In this day and age, a decreasing number of people use bicycles as a transport daily routine despite bikers can get some advantages from riding. I will highlight two reasons causing this tendency and give some methods to solve this problem.

 

--->   There is a decreasing number of people who use/

An increasing number... no longer use

Theo mình cần There is ở trước.

Hoặc dùng phủ định no longer use sẽ hay hơn, và không cần there is... who nữa. Tức là

There is a decreasing number of people who use bicycles as a transport hoặc

An increasing number of people no longer use bicycles as a transport 

 

 

---> in their daily routine

Daily Routine là cụm danh từ, không phải adverb

 

---> despite the fact that

Sau despite là  danh từ/ cụm danh từ chứ không phải mệnh đề. Mệnh đề thì ta dùng although/ though/ even though. Hoặc chuyển thành despite the fact that như trên thì sau despite là danh từ the fact rồi, cả mệnh đề đằng sau là bổ nghĩa cho cái fact đấy thôi

Mặt khác, trước despite bạn nên ngắt dấu phẩy cho câu đỡ bị dài.

 

--->  riding bikes/ cycling

Ride là ngoại động từ nên cần có tân ngữ đi kèm. Nếu không thì dùng động từ cycle.

 

---> and offer several approaches to how to motivate people to cycle more frequently.

 

Method (phương pháp) là cách thực hiện một việc, nó không nhất thiết là cách giải quyết một  vấn đề

Solution (giải pháp) là cách giải quyết cho một vấn đề.

Approach (cách tiếp  cận)

 

Mình gợi ý viết như trên là vì, theo mình, mặc dù đây là dạng problem- solution, nhưng chúng ta đang không cần đi tìm giải pháp mà cần tìm cách thực hiện giải pháp. Problem là "people do not ride the bicycle". Để solve cái problem đó chúng ta có giải pháp là "encourage people to use bicycles" và discourage people to use other means of transport chẳng hạn. Và ta đang cần trình bày cách để thực hiện cái solution thứ nhất. Vì thế, nên paraphrase lại đề bài như trên để đầy đủ, chặt chẽ hơn và show được khả năng viết.

 

Tạm phần đầu đã , xíu  chữa tiếp mấy đoạn sau hihi

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uầy. đọc bài góp ý của bạn mới biết mình còn kém qá :(( viết vài câu mà sai tùm lum. bạn sửa nốt giúp mình nhé. thankssss
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Không hiểu sao gõ dài nó ko post được. Bạn chú ý mấ y cái này , mình sẽ giải thích ở dưới

 

First and foremost many people prefer using other transports such as cars, motorbikes and so on than pedalling bicycles because it always  takes much more time to travel by bicycles compared to other vehicles eventhough it has some benefits such as strengthen muscle or lose weight. For example, car or motor users just spend about 30 minutes on  a 10 kilometers distance instead can take double of time with the same distance by ridingwhat is more the security system of bicycles usually break easier than cars or motorbike, which can take a lot of time to destroy safe locks.

 

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-> First and foremost, (dấu phẩy)

-> prefer...to..., không phải than. Hoặc would V... rather than...

-> automobiles or motorcycles

-> muscles số nhiều

-> Câu quá dài, nên tách ra 2 câu nhỏ

First and foremost, many people would use other means transports such as automobiles or motorcycles rather than pedal a bicycle. This is because it always  takes much more time to travel by bicycles compared to other vehicleseven though bike-riding has some benefits such as strengthen muscles or lose weight.

-> spend only

-> 10-kilometer distance

-> instead of taking the double amount of time

-> Moreover

-> Is more fragile/ Can be broken more easily

-> Cars' or motorbikes'

Vì quan hệ so sánh phải tương đồng, so sánh security system của xe đạp với của cars và motors (sở hữu cách)

-> remove (phá khóa thôi mà dùng destroy thì đao búa quá)

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On the other hand,  to solve this issue there are two approaches which can attract more people using bicycles for transportation purposes based on questions arising . Fristly bike producers should invent bicycles which can operate with high speed to can satisfy people needs. In addition, they should design safe locks which have high-level security as alarm systems, so thieves can dare not touch any bicycles if they have intention stealing.

In conclusion, although using bicycle has some advantages to riders, it is quite difficult to replace other vehicles as a principal public transport if its speed and security can not change.

 

---> to use

---> based on questions arising <--- cái này tối nghĩa và thừa thãi

---> Firstly

---> to

--->chỗ as này là such as hay as well as?

---> may not dare to touch/ will possibly dare not touch

---> even if

---> to steal

---> for bicycle to replace

Cần thêm for bicycle, vì chữ it trong "it is quite difficult to" không phải thay thế cho bicycle, mà là chủ ngữ giả (dummy subject).

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thanks bạn. nhờ có bạn mình hiểu ra nhiều điều. mong bạn sẽ giúp mình trong các bài essay khác. mình đang cần gấp ielts qá frown

 

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