Đề thi IELTS Writing task 2 - 27/08/2016 - With the rapid advancement of communication technology:: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices ...
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TOPIC task 2 ngày 27/08/2016 :

With the rapid advancement of communication technology:: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Hướng dẫn sử dụng trong top Chữa đề IELTS hàng tuần:

Step 1: Click  ở cuối mỗi bài viết được post lên trong top để nhận xét bài viết của các mem khác (ưu tiên những bài chưa có góp ý nào nhé ^^ )

Step 2: Click nút  ở cuối topic này để post bài bạn viết lên. 

Step 2.5: Và đừng quên góp ý cho những bài viết trong mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để kiếm thêm point nhé :)

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Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

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Bài mẫu: Updating...

 

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Lần đầu viết bài trên này nên kính mong các bạn sửa lỗi tận tình giúp mình với ạ. Xin chinh thành cảm ơn.

These days, with the remarkable development of modern technology, every individual in the world is easy to possess a smart device. While the communication technology has some positive sides, I personally argue that its benefits are dominant.

To begin, portable devices cause people several drawbacks. Firstly, they make users get addicted when using for a long time. For example, playing games on smart phones or tablets consumes a person’s mind and time. This might cause huge imbalance between recreation and study or work time of a person. Secondly, this technology involves many people in virtual world. Take some social networks as examples such as Facebook, zalo or Tweeter. These types of networks are becoming popular for users, especially adolescents, which make them lack their real emotion. As the result, there is no bowel of compassion among people, which is replaced by numbers of virtual “likes”.

However, these above drawbacks are outweighed by certain benefits. The most obvious advantage is that technology equipment brings people a sense of convenience. In other words, smart phones provide a number of choices for entertainment, education and healthcare, which improve people’s living standard. For example, a number of people use these modern electronic gadgets to check emails, send reports and attend meetings online. The second positive side is that they become a brdige to connect people though where they are. For instance, oversea students can reduce their homesick by texting and chatting on Facebook with their family and friends. Thus, electronic devices help strengthen the relationships among people in family as well as in community.

In conclusion, although there are many disadvantage of communication technology, I firmly believe that its huge benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
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Chào bạn, mình xin góp ý bài viết của bạn như sau:

These days, with the remarkable development of modern technology,
every individual in the world is easy to possess a smart device. [mình nghĩ nên viết lại với cấu trúc là "it is easy for somebody to do something" hoặc sửa thành "everyone can easily possess a gadget"] While the communication technology has some positive sides [có nhầm từ negative với positive ở đây ko bạn ơi?], I personally argue that its benefits are dominant.


To begin [with], portable devices cause people several drawbacks. Firstly, they make users get addicted when using for a long time. For example, playing games on smart phones or tablets consumes a person’s mind and time. This might cause huge imbalance between recreation and study or work time of a person. Secondly, this technology involves many people in virtual world. Take some social networks [social networking sites] as examples such as Facebook, zalo or Tweeter. These types of networks are becoming popular for users, especially adolescents, which make them lack their real emotion. As the result, there is no bowel of compassion among people, which is replaced by numbers of virtual “likes”.

However, these above drawbacks are outweighed by certain benefits. The most obvious advantage is that technology equipment brings people a sense of convenience. In other words, smart phones provide a number of choices for entertainment, education and healthcare, which improve [improves] people’s living standard. For example, a number of people use these modern electronic gadgets to check emails, send reports and attend meetings online. The second positive side is that they become a brdige [spelling?] to connect people though where they are. For instance, oversea students can reduce their homesick [homesickness] by texting and chatting on Facebook with their family and friends. Thus, electronic devices help strengthen the relationships among people in family as well as in community.

In conclusion, although there are many disadvantage[s] of communication technology, I firmly believe that its huge benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

 



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