Task 2- When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree. [closed]

Question

Having a high- paid job is a dream of many people. Some people put salary on the top of priorities when they are looking for a job. In my opinion, while I agree salary is very important but I strongly believe that it is not the most crucial factors. Other factors are equally important.

It’s evident that a job with high salary will enable people to achieve more comfortable lives. After paying off daily bills such as electric bills, water and gas bills, telephone bills and so on, they can spend certain amount of money for holidays and save for future.

However, job satisfaction doesn’t come from high salary. From my point of view, people should take their hobbies, working environment and promotional opportunities into account before accepting any offer. Firstly, if people choose a job that they don’t like, they will not put their all-out efforts, passion on it. Therefore, it’s very hard to climb to their career ladder. Secondly, working environment is also considered carefully because people will work more productively when they feel comfortable. In contrast, if people cannot match with business culture, for example, they always feel like fish out of water, hence they will get stuck behind the desk and quite the job sooner or later.

Last but not least, this is promotional opportunity. People should see the career path in the long run, what position they will be in the next five, ten years. Jobs that give people chances to utilize their potentials are better than dead –end jobs.

In conclusion, people should consider all factors that affect job satisfaction when they

choose a job. Money is not the key factor.

Answer 1

 

Bạn sử dụng rất nhiều idiom, nhưng trước khi sử dụng bạn nên kiểm tra kĩ xem nó có formal để phù hợp trong văn viết hay ko

Comments

Phần nhận xét của bạn rất chi tiết và giúp mình nhận ra nhiều điều chưa hợp lý trong bài viết cuả mình.

 

Cảm ơn bạn nhé :))

Answer 2

Having a high- paid job is a dream of many people. Some people put salary on the top of priorities when they are looking for a job. In my opinion, while I agree salary is very important but I strongly believe that it is not the most crucial factors. Other factors are equally important.

It’s evident that a job with high salary will enable people to achieve more comfortable lives. After paying off daily bills such as electric bills, water and gas bills, telephone bills and so on, they can spend certain amount of money for on holidays and save for future.

However, job satisfaction doesn’t come from high salary. From my point of view, people should take their hobbies, working environment and promotional opportunities into account before accepting any offers. Firstly, if people choose a job that they don’t like, they will not put their all-out efforts and passion on it. Therefore, it’s very hard to climb to their career ladder. Secondly, working environment is also considered carefully because people will work more productively when they feel comfortable. In contrast, if people cannot match with business culture, for example, they always feel like fish out of water, hence they will get stuck behind the desk and quit the job sooner or later. Last but not least  (Last but not least is used in speaking) this is promotional opportunity. People should see the career path in the long run, what position they will be in the next five, ten years. Jobs that give people chances to utilize their potentials are better than dead –end jobs.

In conclusion, people should consider all factors that affect job satisfaction when they choose a job. Money is not the key factor.

Answer 3

Having a high- paid job (well-paid) is a dream of many people. Some people put salary on the top of priorities (place a priority on salary rather than other factors)  when they are looking for a job ( seeking a job/ apply for a job). In my opinion, while I agree salary is very important but I strongly believe that it is not the most crucial factors (factor). Other factors are equally important.

It’s evident that a job with high salary will enable people to achieve more comfortable lives. Afterpaying off ( paying) daily bills such as electric bills, water and gas bills, telephone bills and so on,(thông thường chỉ cần nêu 3 ví dụ thôi, với ko đk dùng so on trong writing) they can spend certain amount of money for holidays and save for future. (hai cái này ko ngang nhau về mặt ngữ pháp, spend st/ time on st/ doing st)

Electric bills ->  electricity bills

However, job satisfaction doesn’t come from high salary. (paraphase ko đúng, trên bạn bảo các yếu tố khác là equal) From my point of view, people should take their hobbies, working environment and promotional opportunities into account before accepting any offer. (chỉ nên có 1 câu topic sentence) Firstly, if people choose a job (take a job) that they don’t like, ( không đk viết tắt) they will not put their all-out efforts, passion on it. ( có thể sửa thành devote their time and effort to work) Therefore, it’s very hard to climb to their career ladder. ( for them to climb their career ladder) Secondly, working environment is also ( should be) considered carefully because people will work more productively when they feel comfortable. In contrast, if people cannot match with business culture, for example, they always feel like fish out of water, hence they will get stuck behind the desk and quite the job sooner or later. ( Câu lộn xộn, và không đúng ngữ pháp: feel like a fish out of water, cannot match with business culture -> cannot be assimilated into the culture, get stuck behind the desk là một cụm từ informal chỉ nên dùng trong speaking)

Last but not least, this is promotional opportunity. ( câu ko rõ nghĩa, có thể nó promotion prospects also contribute to the job contentment) People should see the career path in the long run, ( in the long term) what position they will be (take over) in the next five, (or) ten years. Jobs that give people chances to utilize their potentials are better than dead –end jobs.

In conclusion, people (job hopers) should consider all factors that affect job satisfaction (job fulfilment )when they choose a job. Money is not the key factor.