Task 2: Wild animals have no place to live in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Question

Wild animals are facing the ongoing threat of extinction. While many environmental activists are calling for protecting them, some people think it’s wasteful to do that nowadays. From my point of view, I strongly believe that protecting wild animals will bring significant benefits to human being.

Firstly, protecting wild animals is to ensure the sustainable source of food. It is obvious that Mother Nature provides us, especially the poor with food, building materials, medicines and so on.  For example, in some remote areas, people hunt wild animals for food or domesticate them to be livestock or get more income from selling native species. Therefore, the disappearance of wild animals will impact people‘s life.

Secondly, when wild animals are taken away, the balance of our ecosystem will be threated. It is worth to mention that food chain will be disturbed affecting all the species.  Moreover, we will face the loss of genetic reservoir which allows scientists to create better domestic animals. Also, it is known that many medicines are derived from chemicals produced by some wild animals.

Thirdly, while establishing conservation centers or national parks, people can make revenues from selling entrance tickets. This amount of money can be used for daily maintenance and other protection campaigns.

The message is conveyed therefore protecting wild animals, in another words, is protecting our planet and our lives.

Answer 1

Wild animals are facing the ongoing threat of extinction. While many environmental activists (bạn có thể thay bằng từ "environmentalists") are calling for protecting them, (mình nghĩ ở đây bạn có thể nhấn mạnh câu thesis statement bằng cách thêm từ "however" hay "conversely") some people think it’s wasteful to do that nowadays (đừng dùng từ này trong IELTS writing thay bằng từ "today" sẽ ổn hơn). From my point of view, I strongly believe that protecting wild animals will bring significant benefits to human being.

Firstly, protecting wild animals is to ensure the sustainable source of food. It is obvious that Mother Nature provides us, especially the poor with food, building materials, medicines and so on.  For example, in some remote areas, people hunt wild animals for food or domesticate them to be livestock or ( lặp từ "or") get more income from selling native species. Therefore, the disappearance of wild animals will impact (impact đi với on bạn nhé impact (of something) (on somebody/something) the powerful effect that something has on somebody/something) people‘s life. ( sai bạn nhé cuộc đời của 1 người đâu phải là "people's lives" chứ)

Secondly, when wild animals are taken away, the balance of our ecosystem will be threated. ( bạn dùng sai từ loại rồi đây là danh từ mà động từ là "threatened") It is worth to mention (It is worth + V-ing: đáng để làm gì) that food chain will be disturbed affecting all the species.  Moreover, we will face the loss of genetic reservoir which allows scientists to create better domestic animals. Also (mình thay từ này bằng "Besides"), it is widely known that many medicines are derived from chemicals produced by some wild animals.

Thirdly, while( thay bằng "by" sẽ hay hơn vì đây là mệnh đề chỉ kết quả) Bằng việc này thì....establishing conservation centers or national parks, people can make revenues from selling entrance tickets. This amount of money can be used for daily maintenance and other others nhé đóng vai trò như một đại từ sở hữu protection campaigns.

The message is conveyed therefore ( từ này ở đây là sai hoàn toàn đi trước và sau nó có dấu chấm phẩy và dấu phẩy) ; therefore, protecting wild animals, in another words, is protecting our planet and our lives.

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