Bài IELTS Task 2 chiều 14/7 - Topic: It is important to teach children to protect environment as well as it is to teach them read and write. To what extent do you agree?

Question

Answer:

 

Every children need to be educated to grow up. Literacy is absolutaly necessary and as well as protecting environment. I totally agree with people who think that the importance of teaching student to read and write and to protect enviroment are the same.

We have know that how important of stydying to read the write. A child is able to be taught about the words, then, he also can not know about the world! I think a child knowing how to read and write is certainly different from a child who doesn't know. So, literacy developes mature people in a civilized way in modern society nowadays. Students can not be helped studying to read write .

We can also realize protecting enviroment today is extremly important too. Polluted environment causes variety of problems for not only humans but the Earth. Such as human's diseases, resources reductions, ... There are a lot of cause of this concern but in my opinion, people are the main factor. So, we have to stop damaging our life enviroment as soon as possible. Telling young children about the dangerous of pulluted enviroment and teaching them to protect it is absolutely necessary. We teach them not to throw trash on streets, down the rivers; to waste water....So a young child is studied to protect enviroment, he will grow up with good habit and know how serious wheter we didn't protect enviroment. The less polluted the enviroment is the more developed the word is!

In general, studying to read and write is completely as important and necessary as to protect environment. Children need knowledge as well as great environment.

Answer 1

 

- Every children need to be educated to grow up. Literacy is absolutaly necessary and as well as protecting environment. I totally agree with people who think that the importance of teaching student to read and write and to protect enviroment are the same.

"and as well as" => "as well as" is similar to "and". I think you should use one of them.

"absolutay" => absolutely, "environment" => the environment.

- We have know that how important of stydying to read the write. A child is able to be taught about the words, then, he also can not know about the world! I think a child knowing how to read and write is certainly different from a child who doesn't know. So, literacy developes mature people in a civilized way in modern society nowadays. Students can not be helped studying to read write .

"stydying" => "studying", "developes" => develops

"have know" => "have known" => the present perfect tense.

- We can also realize protecting enviroment today is extremly important too. Polluted environment causes variety of problems for not only humans but the Earth. Such as human's diseases, resources reductions, ... There are a lot of cause of this concern but in my opinion, people are the main factor. So, we have to stop damaging our life enviroment as soon as possible.

"extremly" => "extremely"

- Polluted environment causes variety of problems for not only humans but the Earth. Such as human's diseases, resources reductions, ... There are a lot of cause of this concern but in my opinion, ...

I think "such as" does not stand at the beginning of the sentence, and you should use it in the end of the sentence , after a subject and a verb.

- Telling young children about the dangerous of pulluted enviroment and teaching them to protect it is absolutely necessary.

I think it is not a sentence.

- There are a lot of cause of this concern but in my opinion, people are the main factor. So, we have to stop damaging our life enviroment as soon as possible. Telling young children about the dangerous of pulluted enviroment and teaching them to protect it is absolutely necessary. We teach them not to throw trash on streets, down the rivers; to waste water....So a young child is studied to protect enviroment, he will grow up with good habit and know how serious wheter we didn't protect enviroment. The less polluted the enviroment is the more developed the word is!

"cause" => causes, "pulluted" => polluted, "wheter" => whether

- So a young child is studied to protect enviroment, he will grow up with good habit and know how serious wheter we didn't protect enviroment. The less polluted the enviroment is the more developed the word is!

"wheter" => whether, some words are repeated.

- the ideas are very good, I agree with your opinion :) 

Thank you for reading.

http://chuawritingmienphi.com/5512/ielts-chieu-topic-important-teach-children-protect-environment-teach-write-extent

Comments

Thank u very much for your cmt! My spelling mistakes are because of my unwell typing skill :(((. Anyway, i'll remember some grammar mistakes that you corected :)

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Answer 2

You should find more synonyms, don't use some  repeated words/phrases.

such as: read and write = literate/literacy

protect/save/preserve/safeguard environment

children = youngster = the future generation = students = pupils

don't use informal words such as but, so 

Every child needs to be educated to during his upbringing. Literacy is absolutely necessary and protecting environment as well. I totally agree with people who think that the importance of teaching student to read and write and to protect enviroment are the same.

We have known that how important of studying to read and write. A child is able to be taught about the words, then, he also can not know about the world! I think a child knowing how to read and write is certainly different from a child who doesn't know. So, literacy develops mature people in a civilized way in modern society nowadays. Students can not be helped studying to read write .

We can also realize protecting enviroment today is extremly important too. Polluted environment causes variety of problems for not only humans but the Earth. For example human's diseases, resources reductions and so on. There are a lot of causes of this concern, however, in my opinion, people are the main factor. Thus/hence/consequently/as a result, we have to stop damaging our life enviroment as soon as possible. Telling young children about the danger of pulluted enviroment and teaching them to protect it are absolutely necessary. We teach them not to throw trash on streets, discharge sewage into rivers; to waste water....Hence, a young child is aware of the important of protecting enviroment, he will grow up with good habits and know how serious wheter we didn't protect enviroment (what do you mean?). The less polluted the enviroment is, the more developed the word is!

In general, studying to read and write is completely as important and necessary as protecting environment. Children need knowledge as well as great environment.

Comments

Thank you so much!