In 140 words, writting about yourself

Question

My name is L, a student of sixteen at K High School. I am living with my parents in H. If you see me, you can be impressed by my apperance with a round face. In spite of being nomally tallness, i have a fit body. Specially, I have long black hair. Because of being short sighted, I usually wear glasses , so my friends call me "professor". However,  I am very sociable. I am interested in joining social activities. I also invite my friend to take part in charity activities. In addition, iI like hanging out with my friends. Therefore, we can understand each other. Iam said to be a industrious and mature person. At school, I always pay attention to my teacher's lessons and finich all my exercise off the deadline. Beside, I also find valuable information in the internet, on the radio, etc  to broad my knowledge. I help my parents what I can do if I have finished my homework at home. In my future, I want to become a teacher to teach the children who are in remote areas. I try to make myself discipline to improve and become a useful person for society.

Answer 1

I think that you should change tallness to mayble height

an industrious not a

this passage is very nice and interesting

but if you want to achieve high score in IELTS you must use more exciting words and your passage hasn't got enough words I guess. And try to be more careful with your little mistakes like a/an or grammars like

I can help my parents the things that I can do It's much better

One more you couldn't say that only 1 word proffessor but also a professor

Dictation: finish not finich

Uhm in gnerally your passage is not really perfect but if you are 12 i can say that it's very good but now you are 16 so you need to improve more. There is something wrong with your passage. Check it again and you'll see

Answer 2

My name is L, a student of sixteen sixteen-student at K High School. I am living with my parents in H. If you see me, you can be impressed by my apperance with a round face. In spite of being nomally tallness tall normally, i have a fit body. Specially, I have long black hair. Because of being short sighted, I usually wear glasses , so my friends call me "professor". However,  I am very sociable. I am interested in joining social activities. I also invite my friend to take part in charity activities. In addition, iI I like hanging out with my friends. Therefore, we can understand each other. I am said want to be a industrious and mature person. At school, I always pay attention to my teacher's lessons and finich(?) all my exercise off the deadline. Beside, I also find valuable information in the internet, on the radio, etc  to broad (widen) my knowledge. I help my parents what I can do if I have finished my homework at home. In my future, I want to become a teacher to teach the children who are in remote areas. I try to make myself discipline to improve and improve myself to become a useful person for society