Mọi người chữa dùm mình bài IELTS Task 2 này nhé - Art

Question

Đề bài: Some people think that the goverment is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

It is sometimes argued that the governments should invest their money in other fields rather than the arts due to their inefficiency. I completely disagree with this point of view.

On the one hand, the arts play key roles in community development which is also the purpose of any nations' government spending. All art forms have the same basic function of making a good recovery from various pressures. A typical case in point of the performing art is that the instrumental music with a good and slow rhythm could heal a person's burnout. Furthermore, the visual art sometimes is considered as a communication way as it is hard to put thoughts and feelings into words. Good examples are Picasso's pictures and similar abstract works which reveal the authors' viewpoints and experience about, particularly the war.

On the other hand, the combination of the arts and other areas could lead to a better consequence in general. For example, students can be taught throughout works of literature about the lessons on empathy and understanding so that their humanity can be developed. Particularly, numerous works from poetries, novels to pictures, and images during Vietnamese war might be a extremely valuable documentations of struggling for the independence of the colony and the faults of the imperial aggressors such as France and the US. Alternatively, numerous international exhibitions and galleries are hosted by local nations, followed by an increase in the number of local services, leading to an improvement in the level of national incomes and unemployment rates in those countries. Therefore, if the governments did not have enough interest in the arts, it would be unlikely to gain these mental and economic benefits.

In conclusion, I take the issue over the viewpoint that spending money on the arts is wasteful so that governments should focus on the other areas.

 

 

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Mình viết nhiều câu còn lủng củng, mong các bạn có thể cải thiện giúp mình ạ. Rất cảm ơn các bạn ^^

 

 

Answer 1

It is sometimes argued that the governments should invest their money in other fields rather than the arts due to their inefficiency (nên đổi hẳn sang 1 cấu trúc khác thì tốt hơn). I completely disagree with this point of view.

On the one hand, the arts play key roles in community development which is also the purpose of any nations' government spending. All art forms have the same basic function of making a good recovery from various pressures.  ( for example / in fact....) A typical case in point of the performing art is that the instrumental music with a good and slow rhythm could heal a person's burnout. Furthermore, the visual art sometimes is considered as a communication way as it is hard to put thoughts and feelings into words. Good examples are Picasso's pictures and similar abstract works which reveal the authors' viewpoints and experience about, particularly the war.

On the other hand, the combination of the arts and other areas could lead to a better consequence in general. For example, students can be taught throughout works of literature about the lessons on empathy and understanding so that their humanity can be developed. Particularly, numerous works from poetries, novels to pictures, and images during Vietnamese war might be a extremely valuable documentations of struggling for the independence of the colony and the faults of the imperial aggressors such as France and the US. Alternatively, numerous international exhibitions and galleries are hosted by local nations, followed by an increase in the number of local services, leading to an improvement in the level of national incomes and unemployment rates in those countries. Therefore, if the governments did not have enough interest in the arts, it would be unlikely to gain these mental and economic benefits.

In conclusion, I take the issue over the viewpoint that spending money on the arts is wasteful so that governments should focus on the other areas.

linking này thường dùng chỉ các ý đối lập. Còn cả 2 đoạn đều ủng hộ thì nên dùng linking khác.

Comments

Cảm ơn bạn nhiều nhé. Câu mở bài bạn có thể gợi ý mình đổi như thế nào được ko ^^