Đề bài là What is your preference? Nên mình làm bài là dựa trên lựa chọn của mình, chứ ko phải nói chung chung.
Dòng 1: Today, Everybody have many choices different type of job. sửa thành : Nowsaday, society is more and more developing, there are many kind of jobs to choose.
“Some people enjoy jobs that include travelling a lot and meeting new people, while others like to work in a fixed location with the same group of coworkers” Câu này nên paraphase lại để ăn điểm. Sửa thành: People who like discovering new places or socialize with new colleagues will enjoy jobs that include travelling a lot and meeting new people. Those who are conservative tend to like to work in a fixed location with the same group of coworkers.
Dòng 3: In my opinion, I want to have a job which is mobile and free to meet new people because of following reasons. Bạn không nên giải thích ngay ở đầu bài mà nên để thân bài giải thích luôn
“First of all, Work in a fixed place with the same group of colleagues in every year very boring”. Câu này nên sửa là: First of all, Working in a fixed place with the same group of colleagues in every year is very boring. Xong bạn tìm ra lý do sao nó boring???.
“ Besides, Jobs include travelling and meeting new people create more interesting when work enviroment usually change.Each day, they will always consider that the job is interesting and attractive by that personnel get good result in the jobs.” Thay chữ Besides thành In contrast nhé, vì ở đây mình nói sự tương phản. In contrast, jobs which include travelling and meeting new people creat more excitement and motivation for working in a frequent changed enviroment. I will have to consider that how interesting and attractive the job is and i will become more and more flexible. This will lead to a very good result for my occupation.
“Second, when go to new lands and meet new peoples, Understanding of people is extender together accunmalate much knowledge and contact with new cultures make self growth as:self-confident,communication skill etc by that increase based on promotion in their jobs.” Sửa thành: Secondly, on going to new lands and meeting new peoples, I can understand many type of people, contact with new cultures, widen my knowledge about new collegagues. These will fairly enhance my abilities and skills such as: Communication skill, self-confidence, adaptability and so on.
“Finnaly, In the work,Relationship is very important.The more Realtionship the more easier reach success in the work.Relationship help work become easier,when have difficult in jobs will get more helps.More relationship, the life become comfortable, much fun and your mentality is always happy that futher your jobs.”
Sửa lại thành: Finally, Relationship is important factor in every job. You can be easierly successful if you have much interrelationship. When I have a trouble with my job, I will have a wide range of helps from my partners. I will not feel alone and become more and more energetic in my job.
“Employment include travelling and meeting new people is very exciting.It help jobs is not become tedious,extend knowledge, easier devlop new relationship, so I think people should do jobs inculde travelling and meeting.”
Sửa lại thành: In conclusion, I personally believe that the job including travelling and meeting new people is much more interesting than the job which has a fixed location and the same group of coworkers. It is clearly that you have to be creative during your work when you do not know exactly where do you work and who are your co-worker.
Đó là phần góp ý của mình, bạn có thắc mắc hay ý kiến phản hồi để giúp bài viết của bạn tốt hơn thì cứ bình luận bên dưới nhé 
. À nhớ rate cho mình nhé 