IELTS Task 2 - Globalization affects the world's economy in a positive or negative way. Discuss.

Question

Even though globalization affects  the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Everything has two sides and globalization is not an exception. Both developed and developing countries are influenced by globalization in many prospects, espcially in economic area. I will discuss both positive and negative impacts of grobalization on economy.

There are various reasons why many people believe that globalization is necessary for developing country’s economy. It is clear that when many countries participate in WTO, it leads to free movement of labour which means it creates more job opportunities for people to work oversea. For example, Vietnamese people try to work in the developed countries such as American, England, ect to approach high-tech, advanced equipments and to obtain better skills, that can contribute to society. In addtion, tourism is developed due to connection between countries, it is likely easier for forgen people to travel.  For example, Ha Long Bay in Vietname recognized by UNESCO as the world heritage attracts more and more foreign visitors nowadays, which increases the revenue for government generally and income for local people particularly.

However, it is undeniable that downside of globalization is known as “brain drain”. Even if many companies, for instance,  transfer their staffs to other countries to accquire professional knowledges and skills, then, to contribute to the company and the society, major staffs do not come back. They tent to leave their poor countries to rich ones, which leads to better quality of life. Besides, environment also extremely influenced because of globaliztion. In spite of developed tourism, local people tend to ultilize attactions by doing their own business and ignore reservation.

In conclusion, globalization has both advantages and disadvantages to the economy. I hope that all countries in the world can prepare to ultilize all benefits while eliminating detriments from globalization.

Answer 1

Everything has two sides and globalization is not an exception. Both developed and developing countries are influenced by globalization in many prospects, espcially in economic area (I think this sentence does not fit in the whole essay. When first reading this sentence, I expected that you would discuss about BOTH developing and developed countries in the body; however, you only focused on the VN, a developing nation). I will discuss both positive and negative impacts of grobalization on the economy.

There are various reasons why many people believe that globalization is necessary for developing country’s economy. It is clear that when many countries participate in WTO, it leads to free movement of labour which means it creates more job opportunities for people to work oversea. For example, Vietnamese people try to work in the developed countries such as American, England, ect (informal, I suggest we can re-write as "...such as America, Japan or the Europe Union countries." )  to approach high-tech, advanced equipments and to obtain better skills, that can contribute to society (unclear, which society? Vietnam or the foreign countries?). In addtion, tourism is developed due to connection between among (between used in two things) countries, it is likely easier for forgen foreign people to travel.  For example, Ha Long Bay in Vietname, recognized by UNESCO as the world heritage, attracts more and more foreign visitors nowadays, which increases the revenue for government generally and income for local people particularly.

However, it is undeniable that downside of globalization is known as “brain drain” (I think this topic sentence is inappropriate because it seems to be a supporting setence. After this, you not only discuss "brain grain", but also environmental pollution). Even if many companies, for instance,  transfer their staffs to other countries to accquire professional knowledges and skills, then, to contribute to the company and the society, major staffs do not come back (this is good idea, but it is too long and fragment. Thus, you should make it into 2 sentences). They tent to leave their poor countries to rich ones, which leads to (in order to have a ) better quality of life. Besides, environment also extremely influenced because of globaliztion. In spite of developed tourism, local people tend to ultilize attactions by doing their own business and ignore reservation.

In conclusion, globalization has both advantages and disadvantages to the economy. I hope that all countries in the world can prepare to ultilize all benefits while eliminating detriments from globalization.