IELTS task2 education from family is more important than education from school??? Mọi người giúp mình với ạ [closed]

Question

Education is the only way to progress for our life. The education we receive from school is important because this is a good environment to get achievement. However, I think parents are even more so. Due to they have been giving us all kinds of education such as moral and knowledge that school environment can’t be able to give children.

Firstly, parental advice make children are more comfortable than teacher because parents’ every word comes from the heart and they always encourage their children to overcome difficulty. Although the teachers can do the same thing as parents, they have too many students to care about. In addition, if children lack parental care, they will turn into bad persons.

Next, there is a saying that “  knowledge in the head and virtue in the heart ”.  So parents should teach their children to behave properly. Then, they give children opportunity to go to school.  And parents trust education from school can help children acquire more knowledge to go out of the world. Moreover, some children couldn’t go to school because of any their own reason and decided to study at home with parents. As a result, they can’t grow up without parental education.

In conclusion, although school education has many roles for child’s life, parents are the single most influential factor in a child’s development. So I think parents should spend more time learing, playing with their children because parental education is more important than education from school.

Answer 1

Theo kiểu trình bày, bố cục này bạn cứ thế mà viết IELTS Task 2 thôi chứ không tham khảo bài mẫu, đọc qua các sách dạy đúng ko?

1. Đây là dạng đề gì? Bạn bỏ đề đi chứng tỏ bạn cũng coi thường cả dạng đề của IELTS, cứ viết là viết.

2. Bố cục Đoạn 2 và 3 của bạn mình không hiểu lắm, thường là 1 đoạn phản đối, 1 đoạn ủng hộ hay như thế nào đó.

3. Không thấy Topic Sentence.

4. Không trích dẫn câu nói nổi tiếng, thành ngữ, tục ngữ.

5. Mở Bài ko đi vào đúng vấn đề, câu chốt cũng ko có.

Comments

Đây mới là 1 câu thôi nhé.

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dạ, hihi e cám ơn

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Vào đây đọc bài mình check nhé.

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