IELTS task 2 31/10 Scientist agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food...
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Scientist believe that people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. Some people think that the responsibility belongs to education while others disagree with this view. It makes a debate.

Firstly, there is no doubt that the growth of the fast food industry has impacted on the heath of people who used it regular and too much. Junk food include a lot of fat and starch. Eating too much junk food will lead to overwight and obese, follow that the disease having relative will happen such as high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol,…Beside that, regimen with a lot of protein, lack of vitamin links to increasing disease of digestion, like colon cancer, small intestine cancer,etc.

Secondly, when it comes to the answer of this issue, there are several reasons for people who think that the responsibility belongs to education. School should provide the knowledge to students about the damage of fast food, especially a vast majory of student eat fast food and like eating fast food. The channel of public information: The Internet, TV,… also should propagandise to people about harmful effects of fast food to they avoid it.

The role of education sole stops at giving the knowledge about junk food. Otherwise, because of a lot of benefits, junk food still are a best choice for many users. Currently, people are more busy and they do not have time to prepare meals at home while fast food are cheap and variety. Furthermore, fast food store always have great services: free ship, fast,… Therefore, although people know how the impact of fast food on their heath, they still choose it for their meals.

All things considered, it can be concluded that the destruction of fast food on heath is no deny. From my point of view, the liability belongs to not only education but also other organizations. The government should have one hand to solve this problem.
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Mình nghĩ nên dùng Nutritionist sẽ hợp lí hơn Scientist.

Ngoài ra, bạn có thể thay một số cụm cho bài văn sâu sắc hơn :

...has impacted = has a negative impact on...

...use it regularly...

Junk food includes a lot of fat and starch.

Eating too much junk food will lead to overwight and obese, following that the diseases involved such as.... will...

Besides : có "s" mới có nghĩa " Ngoài ra" nha bạn . Theo mình thì bạn chỉ cần dùng "Besides,...." là được, không cần "that" nữa

Đó là một vài góp ý của mình thôi nha, nếu có sai xót thì bỏ qua nha ^^!

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