the issue of the successful sports professionals can earn more money than people in other important professions remain controversial. while some people say that it is fully fair, other people think this is unfair. i partially agree with idea that it is unfair for the people have other important professions. ( Lập từ People, professions, unfair) (Đề tránh lập từ có thể đổi câu này lại như sau) (As far as i am concerned, i am in favor of the the first/ the latter viewpoint/ I am not totally agree both of viewpoints and the reasons will be given out in this essay.)
On the one hand, for these who advocate the opinion of the successful sports professionals can (able to) earn more money than people who have other important careers is unfair should have their argument justified. they point to the fact that there are important (vital)careers, which should have (own) wage higher. For example, the professions such as police, doctor, etc.. usually dangerous ( Câu này bi cụt nghĩa, bạn nên dùng mệnh đề để nối 2 câu lại với nhau) Furthermore, the fact worth mentioning here is that some people have jobs such as economic professionals, industry professionals... (trong 1 đoạn văn không thể nào lập lại such as liên tục dc, chưa kể là liệt kê ở câu trên có rồi), who can develop country need pay salary higher and the government should create study conditions them.
>>> (vd: They point to the fact that there are vital occupations, which is necessary for society such as police, doctor, IT engineer, should own higher wages than athletes.
on the other hand, might argue that some sport professionals should be pay(passive voice) to wage more money. because, the health of people health always are is problems of with sport player and athletes. the sports professionals will check the health of athletes and help them have health more great who really important with the player and the athletes. Beside, the sports such as football, tennis,... earn more money than the difference sports, so, the sports professionals of football or tennis usually have salary higher.
in conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against that some people think successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important careers which is fully justified with them, but i believe that this is unfair with the people work other important professions
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Những chỗ mình bôi đen là viết hoa
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Màu vàng là phần góp ý sửa chữa đề bài văn rõ ràng và hay hơn
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Màu xanh là lập từ nhiều hơn 2 lần.
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Màu đỏ sai câu trúc