some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that it is more important to have a stable job. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Question

Many of us know an evident thing that having a job is very important and essential. We try to study because we want to have a good job in the future. However, the difference is the way people choose their job. Some people just have one or two jobs in all their life, while the others change their job regularly. So, which is more important? In my opinion, each of them has its positive and negative aspects.

First, I am going to discuss about job satisfaction. Job satisfaction helps you have chance to experience different jobs, different positions with different salary. Therefore, your knowledge as well as your skill will be expanded and improved. This is one good point of job satisfaction. Morever, you can choose the jobs that you are interested in, you are good at and that are suitable for you. You will not be boring and you are freedom. However, you can also have some problems if you choose job satisfaction. For instance, anywhen you change the job, you also have to change your house together your timetable. Sometimes, this can make you annoy, stress when you have to adapt to new life fastly. It will be more difficult if you have had your own family, husband and children because it will affect all of them, their daylife.

Beside job satisfaction, many people think that it is better if we have a stable job. I will discuss about some good and bad points of this kind of job. About the good point, with a stable job, you can have more stable life because you don't have to change where you live regularly, you have stable timetable and so you have time for your family, for your own. Normally, if you are really keen on one job, you are satisfied with the salary, you will not want to change it. Similar to job satisfaction, stable job has disadvantages. Sometimes, you feel bored with your job, or you are very like that job but your employee is so terrible, or you are stress because you haven't finished your work, etc.

With advantages and disadvantages of job satisfaction and stable job, I think satisfaction job is better, in my opinion. In spite of its problems, it is still a better way if you are the kind of people that love to change, love to new things, because life is chance, there are many jobs you can do.

To sum up, I think each of you has your own opinion, depending on your situation as well as your characteristic. And with different people, the importance of these two kinds of job is also different.   

Answer 1

mình xin dc góp ý bằng TV nha:

ưu điểm: là khá dễ hiểu, đọc thấy trôi chảy, có khi còn vui nữa ấy chứ...

nhược điểm: tương đối nhiều đấy...

 essay này ko giống ielts lắm....dù cách dùng từ đôi khi mang nét hao hao ...

tuy nhiên, không dc xài dấu câu bừa đâu đấy (?)

nhiều chỗ mình hoàn toàn thấy ko ổn chẳng hạn: 

các câu đơn nên chuyển thành các câu phức và dùng các cách nối câu như: although...,..not only...but also...,hence,by dint of, since/as...,phép đảo ngữ .... để thể hiện trình độ chứ đừng viết đơn sơ như thế..

'it is obvious that' instead of  'Many of us know an evident thing that'

không nên có câu 'So, which is more important?' vì những câu hỏi trực tiếp ko mang tính học thuật, nếu có muốn thì chuyển thành gián tiếp vs ko nên xài 'so' và '?'-->thus, the question set out is whether it is important for us to transfer to another job.

Firstly hoặc First and foremost thay cho First

'You will not be boring and you are freedom' bored mới đúng, boring là chỉ vật rồi, 'freedom' là sai lun rồi...

'However, you can also have some problems if you choose job satisfaction'  makes no sense

'For instance, anywhen you change the job, you also have to change your house together your timetable.' whenever mới phải, your house and your job at the same time.

annoyed as well as stressful not 'annoy, stress' ko thể vừa verb vừa noun dc

fast not fastly

'It will be more difficult if you have had your own family, husband and children because it will affect all of them, their daylife.' câu này rất lủng củng

'About the good point, with a stable job, you can have more stable life because you don't have to change where you live regularly, you have stable timetable and so you have time for your family, for your own.' ko dc lặp đi lặp lại 'have' nhiều lần như dzậy, thiếu 'a' nhiều chỗ nữa....

'Similar to job satisfaction, stable job has disadvantages'

'Sometimes, you feel bored with your job, or you are very like that job but your employee is so terrible, or you are stress because you haven't finished your work, etc.'

 

'I think satisfaction job is better, in my opinion.' có in my opinion thì ko có think nha, satisfation job thì vô nghĩa...vs lại in my opinion ko đặt cuối câu

'it is still a better way if you are the kind of people that love to change, love to new things, because life is chance, there are many jobs you can do.' ý nghĩa câu cũng khá nhưng cách diễn đạt hoàn toàn tệ

'And with different people, the importance of these two kinds of job is also different'

tóm lại đọc xong bài bạn, mình chắc chắn bạn ko hiểu job satisfaction là j....trong Eng khi muốn nhấn mạnh người ta sẽ dùng trợ động từ bổ trợ, đảo ngữ,... chứ ko lặp lại 1 từ trong đoạn văn quá 3-4 lần huống hồ trong 1 câu.

minh nghĩ bài bạn chắc chỉ chừng tối đa 3.0 thôi, bạn nên học chắc ngữ pháp lại đi, sai cơ bản lắm, từ ngữ vô cùng đơn sơ.

thật ra để lên 0.5 điểm trong ielts thì cũng phải mất nửa năm trời đấy ko dễ vs trình này thi dc đâu...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

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