Bai IELTS ( toi 13/10 ): You are never too old to learn.

Question

Learning is the most important thing in our life because during time we grow up, many things will be difference. It’s about knowledge at school, in books and experience in your life. There is a saying that “no one is too old to learn”. Although you are graduated, got a good job, you must continue to learn something new. If you don’t do it, you will be left behind. That mean things will change and knowledge is invaluable.

Everybody is spending many years learning and most of them stop doing when they get older. For other people, they keep learning and find the way to get achievement in their life. At university students will learn a lot of things from the book, lecture’s experience and also learn some skills are useful for future job such as communication skills, leadership, critical thinking, time management, presentation, negotiation…  And then they have opportunity to graduate after three or four years. After that they can work or decide to get a master degree and doctor’s degree.

Not only that, absorbing knowledge through the internet, books, newspapers or partake in some education courses are very useful that can help you in some situations. Learning practical experience from your partners is one of the key of successful.

 And older people aged 60 and over must still study, not in school but they can spend time cooking a new food, learning from the book and maybe learning a new languages. In some case, they can study at the university if they do not have any qualifications

Regardless of your age, learning something new keeps your mind active. In fact, getting older makes it easier to discover new activities. For example, retirees have several advantages over younger students. They have more time available, more interest in learning for the sake of learning, and have less pressure to get good grades. They can actually learn just for the fun of it.

In conclusion, learning give you the qualifications needed to enter a profession and the confidence to solve problems, make decision independently. It helps you to discover that you’re good at new things. And it can help you to reduce the risk of dementia.Though you are young or old, let study hard “ You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream…”(C.S Lewis).

Answer 1

-difference ở đây là gì vậy bạn? theo mình thì nên dùng tính từ là different thì tốt hơn.
"Learning is the most important thing in our life because during time we grow up, many things will be difference" 

-Mình thấy đoạn mở bài bạn làm hơi khó hiểu. Ví dụ như đoạn này mình thấy 2 câu đầu không liên quan gì tới câu thứ 3 cả.

"Although you are graduated, got a good job, you must continue to learn something new. If you don’t do it, you will be left behind. That mean things will change and knowledge is invaluable."
-Ở đây bạn nên dùng people thay cho everybody. 
"Everybody is spending many years learning and most of them stop doing when they get older"

-Bạn đã dùng keep ở trc rồi thì phải dùng finding luôn chứ.
"For other people, they keep learning and find the way to get achievement in their life"

*Thật sự thì mình thấy bài của bạn không được hay và có hướng giống dịch từ tiếng Việt sang tiếng Anh nên mình ko sửa chi tiết nữa.

-Bài viết của bạn cần thêm các từ nối, liên kết câu trong các đoạn.

-Bạn nên diễn đạt các ý vì sao ra như trong phần kết bài chứ không phải kể lể ra như thân bài của bạn. Bạn nên diễn đạt ý tại sao "no one is too old to learn" như trình bày các ý này ra:

" learning give you the qualifications needed to enter a profession and the confidence to solve problems, make decision independently. It helps you to discover that you’re good at new things. And it can help you to reduce the risk of dementia"