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Question

TOPIC:Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?"                                                                                                                                                                It does not need to eat meat to have a good heath.I partly agree to this statement.In my point of view advantages of eating plant is high fiber and low lipit and it decreases in getting some deseases.However if you completely not eat any meat,you could lack essential vitamins such as D,E,C...which play important roles in our body.

  Firstly eating plant can support us energetic enough to mantain all day long.We can activities without tireness.For example when we eat much products made from meat,we trend to fall as sleep for high lipit in our body . In addition eating vegetables avoids many deseases from losing fat.In reality sciences have proven that becoming a vegetarien can prolong life span of people.Because who eats plant almost not getting heart desease .It's not only all advantages above ,but it changes our menu with diverse foods which is from plant.

  On the other hand eating too much plant is not reasonable for being imbalanced.Someone who eat plant is trendy thinner than others those who eat meat .Moreover protein is very necessary which only have in meat.Lacking of protein will effect on skin,beauty,muscle,so on.

  In short we should balance nutrition in food.If you choose to become a vegetarian,you should supply to your diet essential substances which can replace meat.

Answer 1

 

Mình có ý kiến như sau: Bạn tốt nhất nên completely argee/disagree with the ideas chứ đừng partly argee/disagree vì như vậy sẽ rất nguy hiểm cho content bài essay của bạn.Nếu bạn  completely argee/disagree thì bạn sẽ có thể tìm ideas để làm cho bài essay coherent hơn vì mình thấy bài của bạn hơi lan man một chút ( ý kiến cá nhân thôi nhé)

Ngoài ra bạn nên để ý:

Commas (mình có underline cho bạn những chỗ bạn thiếu comma)

Collocations (supply with nha bạn chứ không phải supply to)

Bạn nên tìm thêm synonyms cho lack of (defficent , shoratge) và essential (necessary , indispensable) ở trang Ozdic.com và nhớ check spelling nha

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