Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives. [closed]

Question

Over the past years the media have frequently carried reports of the development in technology. In some people's eyes the influence of it is very benificial; However, others think it is harmful. As far as I'm concerned, technology has a negative impact on our lives.

One of the drawbacks of technology is the fact that people's lives are being controlled by computers and smart-phones. They spend time surfing the internet, chatting with their friends and playing games online. This has led to the losing of health, time and efficiency in studying and working; which is the reason why students don't do their homework completely and people are very lazy to work. Waves from computers, smartphones and in general, electronic devices may cause headaches. Furthermore, people who are addicted to technology have more tendency to violent behaviours and also to be more prone to obesity.

On the other hand, technology is very crucial to our lives. The advances in technology make it incredibly easy to keep in contact with people. Social networks such as Yahoo, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram have been making progress in revolutionizing the way people communicate with each other. Take, for example, a document or message can be sent to anywhere worldwide in a few seconds, all people need is an internet connection. Moreover, not only can technology express messages in a vivid and novel way but also nurture imagination.

All in all, it seems to me that technology has pros and cons, but the disadvantages much outweight. As with any development, people should be worried about the effects of technology on their lives.

Answer 1

Dòng đầu: Over the past few years nhé.

Dòng 2: nên sửa là In some people's opinion, the influence of it is very benificial...( In some people's eyes nghe ghê quá) hoặc là ghi luôn Some people think that the influence of it is very benificial, others think it is harmful...

Dòng 3: Mình thấy ở thân bài bạn liệt kê mặt lợi lẫn hại khá cân bằng nhau. Bạn nên sửa chỗ này lại là as far as i'm concerned, we can't deny the advantage of technology, but it also have some negative impact on our lives.

Dòng 8: Theo mình nghĩ là waves from mobile phone là chủ yếu thôi chứ electronic devices ko có ảnh hưởng gì mấy. Nếu bạn vẫn giữ vậy thì nên sửa là Electronic waves from computer, mobile phones or some other electronic devices may cause heachaches, decreasing-memories, sleeplessness and so on.

Dòng 9: Có nghiên cứu nói về nghiện công nghệ thì có khuynh hướng bạo lực hả bạn . MÌnh nghĩ nên sửa lại là Furthermore, people who are addicted to violent video games have more tendency to be agrressive, they can be very easily angry with people around them. Bỏ cái béo phì đi ha, vì mình thấy nó không cần thiết.

Dòng 11: Câu đầu nên sửa lại là On the other hand, technology has played an important role in our lives, it is making our lives become easier

Dòng 14: Cái ví dụ về social network của bạn ko rõ ràng. Bạn nên sửa lại là For instance, a document or message can be sent to anywhere in a few seconds, all people need is an internet connection. Moreover, you can talk with your friends through some applications such as skype, viber, line, too. In addition. You can control your house with only a smarphone with is sync with devices of the house. You can store all your documents, files in the internet, and you can take them down anytime at anywhere with internet connection.

Phần kết luận: Bạn nên in conclusion được rồi, không nên all in all hay in general các loại chi cho mệt. Bạn nên sửa lại là: In conclusion, everything has pros and cons and technology, too. Although The gradualness of technology increases the conditions of our lives in many aspects, it has some negative impacts in some extent. The necessary thing we need to do is that using it in a right way, don't let it affect badly in our lives.

Hy vọng giúp ích được cho bạn . Nếu thấy có ích rate cho mình nhé 

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